Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You

My philosophy about making it big in writing, inspired by a comedian.  Back when I was still in high school, I was a bass clarinetist in the Minnesota...

Nature and Working in It, My Antidote to Anxiety & Stress

Gardening, weed pulling, planting… these activities restore and rejuvenate a worn down soul who is sad and ragged around the edges When things weigh me down…...

You Deserve The One Who is Truly Yours.

Love Is powerful than your brain. What type of person do you want in your life as a partner? One who’ve multiple relationships with others or who are...

Introverted Freelancer? How To Avoid Becoming A Recluse.

I am an introverted freelancer with an anxiety diagnosis. I am NOT a recluse… but I could be. Socialising is exhausting for me. After even a few hours of...

Don’t Talk About it, be About it: How to Get More Done by Saying Less

Future notorious gangster Henry Hill walks out of the courtroom. He’s greeted by Jimmy Conway, also a notorious gangster. Henry is surprised to see Jimmy...

How To Be Self-Reliant And Achieve Greatness

Depend on yourself and be unstoppable I woke up with my face covered in blood sitting in the driver’s seat of my Honda Civic wagon. I looked at myself in the...

How My Blowing Trip To Italy Changed My Life & Helped See The Power of God

When you were in college you probably didn’t study abroad. You may have known about the study abroad program but for some reason, you never made the attempt...

7 Simple Ways To Support The Artists In Your Life

Whether or not you realize it, you’re surrounded by artists: painters, photographers, podcasters, musicians, sculptors, writers, designers, and much, much...

What Happened When I Started Olding

Real life happened, that’s what It was a great day earlier this year when I decided I was done adulting and ready to start olding. With olding, you’re no...

5 Lessons on Writing by Ayn Rand

Ayn Rand’s writing tips on theme, plot, characterization and style. “To be the kind of writer you want to be, you must first be the kind of thinker you...

I Kissed The Boy I Feared The Most

I thought Clifton wanted to kill me. When the elementary school bus dropped us off the first day, I jumped off and skipped my way towards my trailer. Thoughts...

The Importance of Focus for Success

Every time we are not focused, the work we produce takes us much longer to produce. Here are some simple steps to get and stay focused. My future husband has...

If You’ve Cried For Someone? Read This.

Crying Is the last action to actualize your feelings. “You left and I cried tears of blood. My sorrow grows. Its not just that You left. But when You left my...

The Most Annoying And Useless Business Jargons at Work.

But they can make you shine at work. The urban definition of business jargon(or corporate bullshit in a cruder language) is something like this. · A new...

Sowing the Seeds of Trust

Growing Your Relationship Garden Trusting people can be a daunting matter. Learning about another human being enough to put credence in what they do or say is...

You Know We’re Friends When We Show Up Naked

And are comfortable around each other Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul. ― Charlie Chaplin in a letter to...

How to Find True Freedom, Joy, Recognition, and Sanity

Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will be stationed in the presence of kings; he will not stand before obscure men. — Proverbs 22:29 I’m not the most...

How to Get People to (Actually) Read Your Story.

Do you want to seduce readers with captivating content that will leave them wanting more? You’ve spent sleepless nights, carefully crafting each word. You...

The Four Rs You Should Know to Have Better Relationships Today

“Retreat, Re-think, Recover, Re-enter.” One of my goals for 2019 is to do better in my relationships. As I’ve written about before here, my time is...

Weighing the Odds

A Reflection on 3 Mind-boggling, Near Impossible Events “If you set out in a spaceship to find the one planet in the galaxy that has life, the odds against...

My Life As A Bipolar Introverted Empath

It’s not as fun as it sounds. My husband and I share an office at home. He does IT work while I write, and the arrangement works out well. We sit back to back...

How To Be Authentic In A World Full Of Fakes

“Authenticity is about being true to who you are.” Michael Jordan When I think of the word fake politicians are the first people that come to mind. They talk...

This Is Why You Stop Hating Yourself In Distress.

but, why do we Hate ourselves? Having a heartbreaking experience can cause a fortune. It takes months to notice even slight recovery. I observed from my...

The Things That Truly Matter in Life According to ‘Tuesdays With Morrie’

5 Lessons on How to Live a Meaningful Life and Become a Better Human Being “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it...

Read This If You Feel Stuck and Want to Start All Over

Starting over is all the rage in 2019. We’re always chasing the new, the novel, the fun. We live in an abundant society, but we’re sick of the mundane....

7 Little Emails can Launch a Best Seller

The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible — Arthur C. Clarke Most launch teams I’ve been on have been a...

Are You Afraid of Being Quiet?

Being Quiet is Powerful “Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of...

Anxiety, Depression, Healing and God

A letter to my past self, during the hardest time of my life The children are small, your husband is out of town a lot, and the old feelings of panic start to...

How To Contribute In People’s Lives.

Share your secrets openly. “It’s the ultimate luxury to combine passion and contribution. It’s also a very clear path to happiness.” — Sheryl Sandberg You...

A Teacher Punched, and Other Consequences of Poverty - Part 3

Caught! Read Part One and Part Two  Robert froze. In the back of his mind he could hear Dick yell: “RUN!” Robert couldn’t even move. His eyes were wide...

Author Spotlight

Sarah Nderi

Sarah Nderi

See more of Sarah’s work here
Website: nderisarah.com

Hi, I am Sarah. I love reading, writing, fashion, music, travel, coffee and a blank screen (page). I started nderisarah in to share my musings, faith, and my journey through university. Let’s explore Life After University.

 

Bring your questions for @nderisarah  to #PubChat on Twitter on Wednesday, June 26th at 8pm Central.

Positive Thinking Will Destroy You.

Don’t be positive, or even negative. Be real. “Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” — Wayne W. Dyer When you are in stress, people advice to stay positive. You may have overheard these sentences:...

How I Plan To Write My Heart Out

In the middle of feedings and diaper changes Forget the big plans I had big plans for my maternity leave. Living in Canada means I get a full year (now with an option of 18 months) off work.  Twelve glorious months to write. I was going to write my...

How Emotional Trauma Drives Nearly Everything We Do

Every one of us is in pain; every one of us wants to be loved. We act the way we act because we want the hurting to stop. “Pull over! Pull over now!”  In a rage-filled tirade, the driver in the car next to me screams in my direction as he tries to force me...

Is It Bad To Want To See A Psychologist?

Deep down, we all know the answer. All my life, I’ve been told by my family and close friends that talking to a psychologist means you’re sick. That something is wrong with your mind that it’s shameful. When we talked about someone meeting a psychologist, it was...

Stop Giving Fat People Your Free Advice!

Kindness works best, folks. We aren’t allowed to insult disabled people. We aren’t allowed to be racist. We aren’t allowed to dislike people of different faiths. We can’t hate women. Fat people are all we have left to shame! Why do fat folk get shamed? People have no...

5 Steps to Become a Paid Writer in 5 Weeks

In the past year, I’ve made tens of thousands of dollars from my writing. (I made a whopping $40 total in my first 4.5 years). Obviously, I’ve learned a thing or two!).  I discovered you can earn money from your writing very quickly, if you know what to do. ...

Why Writing Is One of the First Things I Do in the Morning

And Why You Should Try It Writing is a time for me to flesh out my thoughts — all the ideas that I’d previously thrown down on some random sheet of paper. There is a sort of relief that I feel once I put these things down on paper. And writing earlier in the morning...

Reaching Cacao

 The Day I Pushed a Taxi up a Mountain in Nicaragua Above the cloud forests in Nicaragua is a tiny village where coffee and chocolate grow wild. It is extremely remote and difficult to access.  I traveled there recently to explore the viability of a future...

How Habit Stacking Works (And How To Start Using It Today)

I’d heard of habit stacking for awhile. Do this one thing and then it leads you into another thing. But I just didn’t get it.  As someone who is in the “productivity writing niche” you’d think I’d get a brochure in the mail. Nope, I didn’t.  So it wasn’t...

Work it Right, Not Work it Hard - The first lesson I learned from my life at a very young age

I was born in the last year of three years of Great Chinese Famine, and when I was still a child, just starting to understand the meaning of a life, my family was impacted by the Great Chinese Culture Revolution, which probably the reason why I was so thin and weak...

Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You

My philosophy about making it big in writing, inspired by a comedian.  Back when I was still in high school, I was a bass clarinetist in the Minnesota All-State Band. One year, we had a conductor from Texas who told a story about his college days in California. You...

read more

Nature and Working in It, My Antidote to Anxiety & Stress

Gardening, weed pulling, planting… these activities restore and rejuvenate a worn down soul who is sad and ragged around the edges When things weigh me down… get to be just too much… I know it’s been too long.  Too long since I had dirty fingernails, my fingers...

read more

You Deserve The One Who is Truly Yours.

Love Is powerful than your brain. What type of person do you want in your life as a partner? One who’ve multiple relationships with others or who are fully devoted to only you. The condition is, those who’ve multiple relationships are available and easily come...

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Introverted Freelancer? How To Avoid Becoming A Recluse.

I am an introverted freelancer with an anxiety diagnosis. I am NOT a recluse… but I could be. Socialising is exhausting for me. After even a few hours of socialising, I need time out to rest and recuperate. Prioritising ‘out-of-house’ tasks stresses me out because I...

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How To Be Self-Reliant And Achieve Greatness

Depend on yourself and be unstoppable I woke up with my face covered in blood sitting in the driver’s seat of my Honda Civic wagon. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and thought I was in a horror flick. There was a knock on the driver’s side window that shook...

read more

7 Simple Ways To Support The Artists In Your Life

Whether or not you realize it, you’re surrounded by artists: painters, photographers, podcasters, musicians, sculptors, writers, designers, and much, much more.  But we often only see the end product.  We rarely think about all of the hard work that it took...

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What Happened When I Started Olding

Real life happened, that’s what It was a great day earlier this year when I decided I was done adulting and ready to start olding. With olding, you’re no longer compromising with the phony expectations of the “Real World.” Instead, you’re just grown up and ready to...

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5 Lessons on Writing by Ayn Rand

Ayn Rand’s writing tips on theme, plot, characterization and style. “To be the kind of writer you want to be, you must first be the kind of thinker you want to be.” — Ayn Rand Recently, I came across the book ‘The Art of Fiction’ by Ayn Rand. An incredible...

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I Kissed The Boy I Feared The Most

I thought Clifton wanted to kill me. When the elementary school bus dropped us off the first day, I jumped off and skipped my way towards my trailer. Thoughts of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and afternoon cartoons went through my mind as I shook off the stress...

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The Importance of Focus for Success

Every time we are not focused, the work we produce takes us much longer to produce. Here are some simple steps to get and stay focused. My future husband has begun a side hustle that is now producing some good income for him, but it’s been driving me crazy. Since this...

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If You’ve Cried For Someone? Read This.

Crying Is the last action to actualize your feelings. “You left and I cried tears of blood. My sorrow grows. Its not just that You left. But when You left my eyes went with You. Now, how will I cry? “— Rumi You cried for those whom you love. Crying is not obvious. It...

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How To Take Breaks, Without Feeling Like A Lazy Bumb

Cultivate a relaxed state wherever you are. Despite the well-known benefits of taking breaks, many of us struggle to disconnect from work. More than half of employees end the year with unused time off. This ends up costing employers in more ways than one, such as...

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My Kids Don’t Go For Any After School Classes.

Whenever I happen to meet up with other parents, the conversation eventually goes to, “So what classes are you sending them to?” To which I always reply “None”. In about 2 seconds I am met with a surprised, confused, silent expression which screams “Butwhy?” I am...

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How to Edit a Short Story

A Guide to (Self) Editing and How to Ask For Help “What am I trying to say? What words will express it? What image or idiom will make it clearer? Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?” Then finish with these final two questions: ‘Could I put it more shortly?...

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How to Live Like you are Dying

“Mommy, You’re Dead at 48.” That’s what my daughter said as she climbed into bed next to me this morning, with tears streaming down her face. What do you mean, Honey? You’re dead at 48. I had a nightmare, and I don’t want you to die, Mommy. I want to love...

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How to Know You’re Heading in the Right Direction

Creating landmarks can help you decide if you’re heading in the right direction. Welcome back my fellow travelers on the river of life. If you’re just joining us, I recommend you go back and take a look at where we’ve been so far. We started by recognizing that we...

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Why You Should Worry Less and Pray More

My future step-daughter is having her very first eye doctor appointment this week. She’s absolutely terrified of getting her eyes dilated because one of her friends told her it was painful.  Several times throughout the past weekend, she handed her father a...

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Overcoming Betrayal: How To Move On After Infidelity

And save your relationship Ask anyone in a committed, monogamous relationship, and they’ll probably tell you the same thing. Cheating destroys trust. It’s the lowest blow you could deliver, the ultimate form of betrayal.  Infidelity is often regarded as...

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The Most Annoying And Useless Business Jargons at Work.

But they can make you shine at work. The urban definition of business jargon(or corporate bullshit in a cruder language) is something like this. · A new language that looks and sounds just like English, but is actually lies and propaganda spewed forth by big...

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Sowing the Seeds of Trust

Growing Your Relationship Garden Trusting people can be a daunting matter. Learning about another human being enough to put credence in what they do or say is one of those skills that is learned, or unlearned, over the course of a lifetime.  I have been thinking...

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You Know We’re Friends When We Show Up Naked

And are comfortable around each other Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul. ― Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter Geraldine My college Theatre professor told us:  Imagine your audience naked.  It...

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How to Find True Freedom, Joy, Recognition, and Sanity

Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will be stationed in the presence of kings; he will not stand before obscure men. — Proverbs 22:29 I’m not the most skilled writer in the world, not even close. I’m not the most prolific, original, or stylish. But I know one...

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How to Get People to (Actually) Read Your Story.

Do you want to seduce readers with captivating content that will leave them wanting more? You’ve spent sleepless nights, carefully crafting each word. You finally hit “publish,” and what happens? Nobody reads them. No comments, no tweets, no sharing on any media. Why...

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What I Did When I Got Lost

Time flows like a river, and there is nothing we can do to go back in time or move forward into the future — so our boat has no oars. We can only steer our way through life at a constant speed — which is why our boat only has a rudder. Let’s talk about how important that rudder is in the right hands.

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The One Thing I Was Missing

So there I was, adrift on the river of life, heading toward… well, I thought I was heading somewhere…
That’s when I realized I was just drifting. Caught up in the currents of life, I mistook motion for progress.

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5 Proven Ways to Be Happy Now

Experts weigh in on implementing your signature strengths to raise your level of happiness “Happiness is the joy we feel striving towards our potential.”-Shawn Achor, author, The Happiness Advantage. I can’t begin to tell a story without sharing why it matters. There...

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You Are Not Responsible For My Feelings

And Vice Versa “But if you would just stop doing that ONE thing that I HATE — then I wouldn’t have to keep reminding you not to do it!” “But if you’d just done what I asked you when I asked you to do it, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!” “But if you were...

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A Conversation With A Best Friend

A conversation that changed my life.  “A writer? Who do you think you are?” My best friend said with a sneer.  Wow. I expected this but I didn’t know that it was going to be this bad.  A seed of doubt was cast.  Who the hell did I think I...

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Weighing the Odds

A Reflection on 3 Mind-boggling, Near Impossible Events “If you set out in a spaceship to find the one planet in the galaxy that has life, the odds against your finding it would be so great that the task would be indistinguishable, in practice, from impossible.”...

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My Life As A Bipolar Introverted Empath

It’s not as fun as it sounds. My husband and I share an office at home. He does IT work while I write, and the arrangement works out well. We sit back to back in our office chairs and hunker down except for the occasional joke or comment that passes between us. We...

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How To Be Authentic In A World Full Of Fakes

“Authenticity is about being true to who you are.” Michael Jordan When I think of the word fake politicians are the first people that come to mind. They talk and talk and talk and make false promises to get your vote. Even when they smile you can feel how full of shit...

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This Is Why You Stop Hating Yourself In Distress.

but, why do we Hate ourselves? Having a heartbreaking experience can cause a fortune. It takes months to notice even slight recovery. I observed from my experiences that when I’m in the healing mode, I feel extreme cynical tragedies. Something passes out of control,...

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Fear is a Universal Emotion

Fear is a powerful beast. But we can learn to ride it. (Justine Musk) Fear is a universal emotion. It is likely that fear protected early man from extinction. Fear of danger creates a fight or flight state that would have saved an early human when he or she was...

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Who Said Women Can’t kill Dragons?

St. Martha did it, and she didn’t even break a sweat Lazarus, Martha, and Mary often entertained the Lord when he came into Bethany. They would sit and talk, listening intently to what the Master had to say. Martha, however, was always full of pluck. After all, she...

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If You Love Someone, Don’t Ask For “Why?”

Love has one answer. “It’s okay.” Someone has told you that you lack something, so he or she doesn’t accept your proposal? Or currently, she has plans, so she is not ready. In other words, people reject you when you confessed your heartfelt love? Everyone encounters...

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Want to Be More Driven? Honor Reflection

Looking back is not easy, but using it to light your creative fire is the secret to your success. As I look back over my life, I can’t help but be thankful for where I am today. Every now and then, memories invade my thoughts and cause me to place a high priority...

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The need to see beyond ourselves

Seeing the hearts of people ripe for God’s harvest Agrarian economies still dominate a good part of the world, so planting and harvesting are important times of the year. They impact the livelihoods of many people. How good the harvest is or isn’t impacts everyone....

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We Only Have One Side of the Story

And that’s okay.  When we sit down to write, we can only write what we know, right?  The fact that stories, especially when relationships are the topic, we can only write OUR VERSION. But you know what? That’s okay. I have been writing a lot lately about the...

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3 Lies That Lead to Writer’s Block

Here’s the truth that will set you free Every writer faces her worst fear at some time.  Writer’s Block.  Even the name sounds awful. There’s a barrier between you and your creativity. Your imagination has to scale a wall that is three feet thick and made of...

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I Want To Help You Say; NO.

Whew! I got through that speech. The one I did not want to do. I know I said YES when they ask me to give the talk to eighty plus old-timers. (I can use ‘old-timers’ since I am one). The most extended hour known to man was mine when I talked about something I knew...

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When You’re Too Poor To Be Healthy

There has to be a better way. My bottom back tooth is currently throbbing with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. It’s my own fault, I know that. After I had a root canal on this particular tooth a year ago, the dentist told me I needed to have a crown put on...

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Read This If You Feel Stuck and Want to Start All Over

Starting over is all the rage in 2019. We’re always chasing the new, the novel, the fun. We live in an abundant society, but we’re sick of the mundane. Instead of being grateful for what we have, we always want more, more, and even more. Nothing’s ever enough. Maybe...

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7 Little Emails can Launch a Best Seller

The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible — Arthur C. Clarke Most launch teams I’ve been on have been a relentless pursuit of time and action. I’m usually sick of hearing from the person I’m trying to help before...

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Are You Afraid of Being Quiet?

Being Quiet is Powerful “Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.” — Charlotte Wriksson All right, everyone! I am here to air a pet peeve of mine and I wonder if others...

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Anxiety, Depression, Healing and God

A letter to my past self, during the hardest time of my life The children are small, your husband is out of town a lot, and the old feelings of panic start to resurface. Where did they come from, these fears that erupt when you’re driving, sitting in a movie theatre...

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Your Greatest Fears Are the Greatest Wastes of Time

Quit fearing and get to doing.  As a member of a 12 step fellowship, we talk a lot about fear. We have acronyms. We have its spiritual principle opposite. We talk about how to walk with courage. All of us, including my teensy-weensy wimpy self, can let fear run our...

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The Ugly Truth About Your Spouse Editing Your Masterpiece

Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings. — Stephen King If you ask your spouse to edit your book manuscript, this is what you are asking of your partner.  You are asking your...

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How To Stop Drifting And Start Succeeding

What to do when you’ve recognized you’re drifting If you haven’t read the first post in this series, Stop Doing This One Thing Today, you owe it to yourself to start there. Then, come back and keep reading. You and I are meant for great things. I recently figured...

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What You Need To Know Before Becoming A Digital Nomad

What happens after traveling starts sucking? The other day one of my favorite bloggers (and people) in the world sent a newsletter saying they were going home after 2 straight years on the road. Two years! Think about that for a second and marvel at their bravery. I...

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Make Money on Medium - a Review

Build your audience and grow your income with Medium (dot) com If you only read one book about writing on Medium, make it this little gem by Nicole Akers.  She has packed more information into these pages than you could find in a month of reading “How To Succeed...

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Don’t Wait For Life To Happen

You’re going to run out of days I usually turn my phone off on the weekends because I like peace and quiet. I’ve always loved being in charge of my technology, and if people need me, they can leave a message. On Monday morning I listened to a cryptic voicemail message...

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When No One Will Support You, Support Yourself

When you have a serious goal, it lives inside your mind. It’s a burning desire that doesn’t go away. Even when a bout of demoralization or simple uncreativity strikes, you still have that goal burning. It’s smoldering, perhaps not burning strong, but it’s still there....

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Your Best Creative Self Is Waiting in the Quiet Time

Avoiding the noise comes at a cost that will always be worth it. Our creative minds are often subjected to the cruelest negligence. We dismiss the thought of being alone with our ideas because we assume they’ll either be awful or won’t be useful in any way. Yet, in...

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A Simple Message On the Corner of Selfish and Selfless

To what end are we traveling? How do we return trust and compassion to a world divided by self-absorption? I saw her on a Wednesday morning on my way to pick up some medicine for my cat. She was standing at the corner of Central and Hillside outside of the Spangles...

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How to Become the Best in the World at What You Do

I’ve decided that I want to become the best writer in the world. This is a goal I’ll never reach. I mean, you have Hemingway, Plath, Bukowski, Rowling, King, R.R. Martin, Gladwell, Kafka, Gilbert, and a slew of other writers from ancient to contemporary that are much...

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Stop Doing This One Thing Today

You may not even realize what you’ve been doing wrong.  You are meant for great things.  Let’s start there.  Do you believe it? I’ll bet you do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this.  Take a few seconds to center yourself. After you’ve read...

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You and your have-no-regrets career. How to map it. Own it.

In the seventh…or maybe ninth…grade, the assignment in English class was to write a philosophy of life. I wish I’d kept it because I have no idea what I ended up with but I remember how difficult it was to write. The problem wasn’t properly putting words together, it...

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Write Despite Your Critics

Because they’ll never be as hard on you as you are, and someone needs to hear your story. A couple of months ago, I published an article where I described how I’d abused my own dogs. It was a terrible, painful, shameful truth that I would have liked to have put in a...

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The Haunting of a Murdered Pigeon

Every once in a while, as I sleep, a pigeon flies through the window in my dreams. Last night was no exception.  It is a the symbol of a lesson. It is a reminder of a traumatic moment in time, that will never leave my memory. I am not a highly spiritual person,...

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The Key to Good Relationships: Active Listening

Active listening is an often-overlooked but incredibly important social skill, both at work and at home. My very first job interview after graduation did not go as I had expected. It was with some type of startup in the Chicago loop. I had been staying with my...

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A Humble Love

What the world needs now! “What the world needs now — is love, sweet love…” was the recurring line in a popular song in the mid-sixties sung by Jackie DeShannon. It was and still is one of my favorite songs from the ‘60s. This YouTube video link of the song captures...

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My Strained Relationship with Being a Morning Person

I have an interesting relationship with being a morning person. Some people will tell you that echoing the habits of a CEO and being a morning person will instantly make your life more satisfying.  While I agree with such articles on at least half of their...

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Personal Branding Strategy (The Emotions Strategy)

This article is about how evoking the right emotions is a personal branding strategy.  For those of you that don’t care what other people think, all you want is to do your job and get out of work. You may want to rethink this approach. Think about what that...

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Positive Thinking Will Destroy You.

Don’t be positive, or even negative. Be real. “Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” — Wayne W. Dyer When you are in stress, people advice to stay positive. You may have overheard these sentences:...

read more

Is there Hope in Desperate Times?

I’m in need of it right now! “They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” -Tom Bodett A few years ago, I read an account of a Lithuanian family who was arrested and...

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To Have The Best Friendships, Give Up 1 Day Every Week

“I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success… Such emotions make a man forget food, sleep, friends, love, everything.” -Nikola Tesla Nikola Tesla was...

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Why Is it So Hard for Me to Make Friends?

Somebody told me, “You’ll have to go find activities and friends because they won’t find you.” When my children were young, I had as many friends as I could handle. I was constantly seeking out play groups and activities for the kids, which threw me into contact with...

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How to “Become a Better Person”

How do you become a better person? What does that even mean? Who gets to decide? What are the standards? How do you know for certain you’re moving in the right direction? The definition of better changes depending on the context. You can improve in certain areas while...

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How to Follow Your Own Advice

Many of my followers are aware that I write often about relationships, mental health, and abuse.  Through my experiences in the past, I have learned some methods and practices to help get through struggling times, and how to heal from the damages caused by...

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Do this one thing for more powerful conversations

What if we are missing out on meaningful connection because we keep jumping into reporter mode? What Photographers Do I was a yearbook editor the year our school first used computer software to submit our layouts. It was 1993 and we were embracing the future. ...

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Happiness Comes By Sharing Your Part With The World.

Contribute your share. “For 30 years, the society provided you everything, shelter, food, money, friends. Now it’s your time to give it back to people — not for them, but to make yourself happy.” This line is by Mr. Anoop Khanna, who started his retirement with a...

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Here’s the Fastest Way to Get Wiser

Thousands of years ago, King Solomon, one of the great kings of Israel, had a dream. He dreamt God came to him and said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”  In his dream, Solomon considered all the things he could’ve asked for. Israel was constantly at...

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To My Ex-Husband…

….is this why I was so angry all the time? **********************Trigger Warning — Gang Rape******************* I want to tell you this, but it’s a long story and we never have much time. I come to you to see Autumn, she should have my time and love when I am...

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A Time to Plant: A Nod to the Planter

There is a belief that I hold for all of humanity. We all have a purpose and a calling. We are here for a reason. To put this in the context of farming- each of us is called to plant or water. We may do one or the other depending on the season of our lives- perhaps...

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How I Grew Younger And How You Can Too

How was your childhood? If you can say that your childhood and younger adult years were largely stress-free, and happy and healthy, congratulations!  You started young and as long as you appreciate and honor your biological growth processes, and you have used...

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The Power and Strength of Self-Esteem

Isn’t it funny how we are so driven by the way others treat or perceive us?  Think about this for a minute. Someone says something offensive to you, and you feel anger or resentment toward them. Or, a friend comes along and tells you that “you need to update...

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Depending On The Kindness Of Strangers

The world can be a pretty good place Ten years ago, my world began to unravel. I had followed the mantra of my generation. Go to college, get a good job, work at that until you retire. I did this in an unusual way. I joined the Navy, utilized their tuition assistance...

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Madcap Delinquent Prophet on a Scooter

On taking back your power My new electric scooter arrived last week, and I am already hopelessly in love with it. It’s the stand-up kind — I just step on with one foot, kick off with the other foot, and toggle a power switch that glides me forward. Wind in my hair…...

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Want To Be A Better Writer? Start Podcasting

Creativity is a funny thing.  It’s not A+B=C.  It’s more like A+C= D-E =B.  We all want to write more.  But we often don’t, right?  Here’s the thing you already know… accountability REALLY REALLY works.  And accountability comes in many...

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Little Kids Driving You Crazy? Think About These 2 Things.

You cannot afford to miss this if you are in the trenches of parenting young kids right now! Sitting on the other side of my parenting journey, with a 24, 22 and 18-year-old, I pinch myself. Weren’t those days of constant diaper changes, breastfeeding hurdles (many!),...

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The Productivity Guide to Getting WAY More Done

“Why can’t you get that work done?” “What’s wrong with you?” “Just apply yourself.” I used to hear that all the time, and then I’d look around at my messy house, my endless list of to-dos and wonder how people manage to get it all accomplished. I’m good at Angry...

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The Words We Choose Make A Difference

Clarity counts I’ve been reminded of the idea of clarity many times over the past few days. I learned to pick my words carefully when I was teaching. Before that time, I was not so careful to only write or say what I meant. I spent most of my teaching career working...

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Kurt Vonnegut’s Lessons on Writing And Life

5 Lessons on Writing and 5 Lessons on Life From a Creative Genius “I believe that reading and writing are the most nourishing forms of meditation anyone has so far found. By reading the writings of the most interesting minds in history, we meditate with our own minds...

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Mornings At The Methadone Clinic

Fighting my addiction versus fighting myself. The doors opened at 5:00 a.m. Most of us addicts were ready and waiting an hour earlier, forming a haphazard line outside while sharing stories of their drug addictions. Each person had a worse story than the last with...

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The Hole In My Heart

Let’s get back to finding value in others. There’s a hole in my heart. It’s not a medical condition though, it’s completely spiritual. I discovered it one day out on a mountain trail running. It had been yet another frustrating week in my full-time job. Trying to...

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Why It’s Good to Cry

A baby cries when it is in need of nourishment, care, or a simple nappy change. However, adults are taught from a young age that crying is weak. There are other ways to bind our frustration. Our hearts have been closed to feel our emotions through crying. I have...

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Embracing Failure As An Integral Part Of Life

No one wants to fail. In particular, no one wants to fail multiple times. But everyone does. I, for once, have failed so many times, I could not believe how unlucky I must be. There must be a higher being up there who enjoy looking down at me stumbling around. So what...

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Strategies for Handling Difficult Things

Embracing the Ordeals of Life “I do strongly feel that among the greatest pieces of luck for high achievement is ordeal. Beethoven’s deafness, Goya’s deafness, Milton’s blindness, that kind of thing.” — John Berryman When I was young, I thought adults were liars, or...

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This is What Happens When You Return to Africa

The flight from Doho to Kilimanjaro is the smoothest I can remember. For six straight hours, the plane glides through forgiving skies as though bargained before takeoff. I sit quietly in an aisle listening to faint Italian prose spoken by the women around me. My mind...

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The Day You Realize How Much Your Freelance Work Is Worth

You’ll stop giving discounts I worked a 9 to 5 for most of my life. It was predictable, relatively safe, and I knew how much my time was worth because they told me how much it was worth. I never realized how difficult that last idea was to change until I entered the...

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Dang, Leon Redbone Died

“Please Don’t Talk About Me When I’m Gone.” Sorry, Leon, I really want to share this tribute of you. I was 17 years-old in 1980 and somewhat of a loner. I worked as a clerk in a bookstore that summer and briefly dated a freshman in college on a gymnastics scholarship....

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My Next-Door Neighbor Stalked Me

I didn’t even know her name. She moved into the house diagonally across the street from me. She seemed harmless, an older lady who lived with her husband and adult son. Sometimes they yelled at each other, the noise bouncing off the side of my house and sneaking...

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The Damage We Cause by Giving Too Much

Life Lessons in My First 50 Years Well, then. I am onto the next big chapter of my life, and only have a few scars, an assortment of horror stories, a couple moments of, “what in the hell was I thinking?” and a whole host of learned lessons.  Through the past 3...

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Barefoot

Love, fairytales, and fear It’s supposed to be my favorite, this meal. The creamy sauce lays over noodles that were delicately made by professional hands. It’s technically perfect but, honestly, I think dad made it better. Either way, I simply can’t take one more...

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Aren’t You Getting Tired of Change?

35th Day in Spain How well do you handle change? You know that thing that everyone says constantly happens. I’ve tricked myself into thinking I’m comfortable with change, but I’ve grown to realize the opposite. In spite of all the changes I want to make, I’m...

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Learning to Love What’s Good For Me

A conversation about positive mental hygiene Clearly, I write an awful lot about mental health and parenting — that’s how I got a ‘top writer’ status in both categories here on Medium in less than two weeks of writing. I write constantly. But I don’t write about these...

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The #1 Reason Why I Hate Teaching

Our children deserve to experience failure, and we as parents need to get over our discomfort in letting them. I have been an educator for nine full years now. When I resume school in the fall, I will be starting my tenth year in the profession. I started teaching...

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When Life Becomes Facebook Official

Social media, for some people, is now where life comes from. It is the actual newsreel of their lives, and as they scroll, they note their friends’ “Most Recent” posts, in order to stay in touch with their little world.  In many ways, it is sad that we all have...

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Freedom of speech: has the blessing become a curse?

Why it matters what we do with our freedoms and liberties Freedom of speech: has the blessing become a curse? Why it matters what we do with our freedoms and liberties Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash Freedom of speech is our unalienable right. Or is it?...

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I’ve Been Living A Lie For The Past Decade

It’s like waking up to realize someone else had lived your life and did a crappy job, but at least now you’re free. It’s not easy to accept an idea which shatters your entire worldview. Some people choose to deny. Others decide to confront and retaliate against the...

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How to be Humorous in Everyday Life.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. How to be Humorous in Everyday Life. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. Image Credits: Pixabay.com Humor is one of the most important things in everyday life, chiefly because it is through humor...

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The Paradox of Weakness

“I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes.” — Jean Vanier I grew up watching the Charlie Brown specials. When I hear the first line of, Christmas Time Is Here, even as an adult, I am...

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Do Yourself a Favor: Focus on What Matters

Cleaning up your time will ultimately clean up your life. We all can relate to times that seem to be in complete chaos. Mornings are dreadful. Nights aren’t any better. Days are longer and more stressful than ever, as you pace around thinking about what you’ll have to...

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The Biggest Lie About Abortion

The hashtag #youknowme is currently trending on Twitter. Busy Phillips started it. She asked women to tell their personal stories about abortion. This is an issue I believe will end up in the Supreme Court as a challenge to Roe v. Wade, and the outcome is unsure for...

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The Stages of Breaking Up

I know I have been writing a lot lately about my recent breakup from a 9-year relationship, and I would like to say I am sorry for inundating you all with my journey. But, I am not sorry I am writing about it.  I am not only writing ABOUT it all, but I am also...

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The New Way They Run the Grift

Grifting Hasn’t Gone Away. Goalposts Have Moved Responding to Social Media, Society… Little Work Is Now Required to Bring in Record Scores It used to be somewhat of a joke, grifting. There was even a wildly popular Scorsese classic, starring that 80’s guy we all...

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The Morning I Lost My Father

How do you say goodbye to a legend? My dad’s last heart attack differed from the others. At first, I thought he was having a panic attack, which would have been reasonable under the circumstances. The day before the attack, he was looking around on the Internet and...

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How to Derail Your Future (Without Noticing Your Are)

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” — Marcus Aurelius. The future never happens the way you want it to or picture it. It can be close, but the subtle nuance of...

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Missing Time

The doctor looked at the man across the desk from him. Edward Carstairs, according to his patient profile, was in his middle 40s. No known history of illness, he had come to Doctor Gordon’s office seeking help for what seemed to be a very strange affliction of the...

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Managed Medicine and Chauvinism

Patients are dismissed, women, in particular, are viewed as exaggerators, neurotic… sometimes waiting years for real answers At age 24, I begin to gain weight. So what? The thing is, I don’t understand why. I’m not doing anything different. Working out, eating the...

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If You Want to Be a Good Reader, Interact With the Author

The crucial task of engaging with the stories you love (or hate). “Reading is a conversation. All books talk. But a good book listens as well.” —Mark Haddon There’s nothing like reading a good book. It could be discussing something controversial or universally...

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Why Life is like a Journey on a Train

and the mystery of not knowing at which station we get off  …with its stations …with changes of routes …with accidents. Life is like a journey on a train. Meeting halfway  The other day, not so long ago, I boarded a clean, polished train from...

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Be Mascara-on-a-Bad-Day Brave

My eyes meet their match in the mirror, and I’m struggling to keep my hand from trembling as I swipe on a coat of mascara that I know all too well isn’t waterproof. I wish for waterproof mascara while I give myself the talk that I will not cry today. Not yet. Not...

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10 Principles to Strengthen your Prayer Life

Is your prayer life everything it needs to be? When you are in crisis, do your prayers make a difference? What have you accomplished lately in prayer? Jesus is our example in prayer. His life was a life of prayer that teaches us. We can see from Jesus example the...

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Watching Yourself Return, One Piece at a Time

Have you ever lost yourself?  That may be an odd question, but I am sure many people know what I am talking about. You hear from friends, “I miss the old you”, or “Where did that person go, who used to be __________” (insert quality here).  Well, over the...

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6 Things Every Writer Should Do Before 6 AM

The early morning has gold in its mouth — German proverb I am about to reveal to you the secret of massive productivity and inevitable success. It involves maximizing your time and accomplishing more in a few hours than most people accomplish in a week. It is a...

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Getting Over My First Book Rejection

After I cried a little, this is what I did. When the email popped up on my phone from an agent I queried last week, I didn’t open it at first. Instead, I stared at the subject line in the mental space between hope and disappointment. I’d just sent the query a few days...

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Show Me How To Make The Best Choices ~ Twelve Quotes

We all need help in making better choices. Isn’t that true? Quotes act as guiding post down the road of life. Sometimes we need a word to course-correct our steps in making good choices. I can’t get over how my life has taking weaves, twist and turns on even...

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Success Starts Outside Our Comfort Zones

There are two ways of living this life — in our comfort zones or out of them. In the words of Steve Harvey, If you stay in your comfort zone, that is where you will fail. It may be new to some of us, but the concept of getting out of your comfort zone is an oldie. The...

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Why are you letting a little rain stop you?

Let it do its thing. You do yours. We have a saying where I’m from. The only thing rain stops is cricket I guess the American equivalent will be baseball. When we use this saying, it really applies to our party culture. If it starts to rain during an outdoor event, no...

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Before you go, make sure you don’t miss these:

The Haunting of a Murdered Pigeon

Every once in a while, as I sleep, a pigeon flies through the window in my dreams. Last night was no exception.  It is a the symbol of a lesson. It is a reminder of a traumatic moment in time, that will never leave my memory. I am not a highly spiritual person,...

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The Key to Good Relationships: Active Listening

Active listening is an often-overlooked but incredibly important social skill, both at work and at home. My very first job interview after graduation did not go as I had expected. It was with some type of startup in the Chicago loop. I had been staying with my...

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How to Stay Productive and Get Results Under Pressure.

Pressure comes from within and so must be mastered from within. Let us admit it. Nobody performs well under pressure. A lot of us think we do, but we don’t — or at least, we don’t perform as well as we could perform. And in their book, in their book, “Performing Under...

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This is How AI will Stop You from Quitting Your Job

And it is quite terrifying. It’s Friday afternoon and one of your employees asks for a private meeting. Before you even close the door, she tells you she’s found another job and is leaving the company. How will you respond? Who will cover her responsibilities? What is...

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Parenting Rule #1: Stop looking the “gift horse” in the mouth

If children are a gift from the Lord, so is parenting I got into my car, aware of the silent radio, the opportunity to pray — again — for this errant child of mine. But when I opened my mouth to pray — rather than petitions, out came a confession. “I’m sorry, Lord,” I...

How To Improve The World In 30 Seconds

A guide to help lazy people make a difference I’ve always wanted to improve my life and the lives of those around me. However, laziness always cuts into my efforts. It doesn’t appear that a blanket of lazy coats me to most. 60 hour work weeks are the norm, plus...

How To Use Envy To Fuel Your Journey

comparison can show you the way We’re only envious of those already doing what we were made to do. Envy is a giant, flashing arrow pointing us toward our destiny.Glennon Doyle How are you doing on Medium? Are you earning four figures and counting thousands of...

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