It never fails. Every time I launch something new in my business, like this course I’m currently developing, all my doubts and fears come flying to the forefront again, even though can see the infinite possibilities this will open for my clients. The fear pushes aside the decade plus of coaching and training experience that’s been coupled with more than two decades of researching and studying. My inner critic gets fired up and starts to get louder and louder.
No one is going to like this. Who are you to deliver this kind of information? This is going to flop, you might as well stop right here.
It helps me a little to know that the likes of John Steinbeck, Maya Angelou, Merel Steep and even Albert Einstein have all been hit with the same kind of fear too.
Fear is a part of life for everyone. It’ll never go away, which is why it’s so important to learn how to use it to get what you want, instead of entering into a battle of attrition with it.
Most of us try to shove fear away, defeat it or conquer it, and while it might work in the short term, it’s not going to consistently get you to your end goal. Fear has a way of coming back to bite you in the butt when you least expect it, like at 3AM when your guard is down and you wake up with your head running in overdrive.
Life is a lot better when you start working with your fear.
Fear isn’t all bad. We love those fear inducing thrilling experiences like riding a roller coaster, navigating through a haunted house or catching a horror flick. The adrenaline rush feels good.
Interestingly, the chemical cocktail that gets released into your body when you experience fear is exactly the same as mix that you feel when you’re excited about something. It’s the label or meaning you give to it that makes a difference.
Take public speaking for example, it’s the number one fear for most people, and yet there are others who adore being on a stage. A friend of mine says he’s never met a stage he didn’t like. These are different meanings assigned to the same event and because of that meaning, each person gets different results.
Getting what you want is a head game. Most of the time it has little to do with the outside circumstances, because as the saying goes, where there is a will there is a way. Your determination rules the day. Since you control your thoughts, that means you get to make the rules of the game you’re going to play to reach your goals.
What if you chose to leverage your fear instead of having it stop you in your tracks?
Use fear to excite you.
Like I said, the only difference between fear and excitement is the meaning you give it, so what if you shift the way you’re thinking. What if that thing you want to so much becomes as exciting as the wait before Christmas morning or the anticipation you feel as the roller coaster slowly works it’s way up to the top of the highest drop?
It’s thrilling when the adrenaline is rushing. You feel ALIVE! That little change in perspective can make a world of difference when it comes to getting what you want.
Use fear to guide you.
Fear is there for a reason. It’s the thing that helps keep you safe and that’s a great thing. The key is not to live in it all the time. Try leaning into the fear instead of fighting it. What’s it telling you?
You’ll find by doing this, it will help to loosen it’s grip. Fear has insight and once you gain that insight, you can let the fear go. Your fear might be telling you that you haven’t covered your bases yet. There might be something you need to address or solve before you can move forward. Without leaning into the fear, you never gain it as an ally or feel the benefit of it’s guidance and wisdom.
Use fear to get clarity.
Fear heightens your senses and your awareness. That’s perfect when you feel fear in a physical situation, like skiing down the backside of a mountain. You can also use it to your advantage when you’re in strategizing mode. That kind of crisp focus will help you pinpoint the thing that’s really making you uncomfortable with your new idea or endeavour, which is the first step toward solving any problem. Once you understand the problem you can find a solution.
From there, you can make an action plan or reach out to someone who has been where you are and has navigated it successfully. No point in reinventing the wheel if you don’t have to.
Use fear to push you forward.
With added focus and clarity, your fear can give you the motivation you need to get it done! Here’s where FOMO is a good thing.
Let your fear increase your hunger and desire for what you want to achieve. Use it to evaluate your choices and define the advantages and disadvantages. It can help you find a solution you haven’t explored yet and any obstacles in the way become something to get around, not a wall you crash into.
Use it to gauge your desire.
The more you want something, the more fear will be involved. Big changes can be scary but big changes are the thing that’s going to give you what you really want.
How much do you want the goal? What are you willing to do to get it? What will reaching your goal do for your life? What will your life be like if you don’t do it?
That last question is a big one. If there’s more fear in not doing it than there is in doing it, you’ve answered a pretty big question.
It’s always good to remember that fear is simply an emotion. Our emotions, every single one of them, are there to guide us. Listen to what your body is telling you and use that information to get what you want. Fear included.