A conversation that changed my life.
“A writer? Who do you think you are?” My best friend said with a sneer.
Wow. I expected this but I didn’t know that it was going to be this bad.
A seed of doubt was cast.
Who the hell did I think I was indeed?
“Well, I’ve been told by quite a number of people that I’m good at writing. They all said I have potential and that I would be a great writer.” I tried to defend my dream and it’s true. I had been told by quite a lot of people that I’ll make a good writer.
“Who? Who told you that? Your parents? Your brother? Your boyfriend? Your best friends? Your teachers? Come on, we both know that these people love you. Maybe even too much. They’ll say anything to make you feel good and happy. It’s nothing but empty praises.” My best friend retorted.
It was like a stab to the heart and I could almost hear the faint sound of the first crack, the sound of a dream about to be shattered.
She was right.
The people who had been telling me I write mighty well were the people I love and who love me the most. My parents, my brother, my boyfriend, my best friends and my teachers. Of course, they would tell me how good of a writer I am.
Was it all a lie?
Has it all been nothing but a massive wasted effort?
“Besides, how are you going to feed yourself doing this… writing thing? Everybody knows writing doesn’t make money. Starving artist is just a picture painted to romanticize the job. If you can even call it a job.”
Word after word, my best friend tried to dissuade me from pursuing what I felt like my calling.
The more she talked, the more I was swayed.
Maybe she has a point…
I kept my mouth shut as she droned on one reason after another why I should just give up on what seemed like a pointless endeavour to her.
As I was about to reach my breaking point, to just accept the fact that I would amount to nothing and that this was all just a silly notion, a realization hit me as I looked at my best friend’s face.
She was scared.
I don’t know how but I saw it.
I saw it in her eyes.
As clear as daylight.
She was terrified for me.
I took her hand in my hands.
She stopped talking. As she looked me in the eyes, before she had the chance to say anything, I launched into my little monologue.
“Listen. I know you’re worried about me. I know you’re concerned. You’re just looking out for me and you don’t want me to get hurt. You’re my best friend and you have nothing but my best interest in your heart.
I know, long before I told you my decision, that this is going to be an uphill battle. It’s gonna be bloody and it’s gonna be a long arduous journey.
But I also know that I can no longer stay. I can no longer stay rooted on the spot and not do anything. I need to at least try. If I don’t, I’ll die not knowing if I’m ever any good. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?
You’re my best friend, the best of the best, in this world. No one else is going to be as close as you are to me. If I’m going to embark on this journey, I need your full support. I need you to back me up 110%. I can’t have you whispering all these things about how it’s not going to work out in my ears as I am fighting my battle. It is already difficult as it is.
I need you. I need you to be with me in this, no matter what.
I know you’re scared of the possible failures and disappointments. I know that you’re scared this will ruin us but it won’t. We’re stronger than that and we can withstand anything if we stand tall,together.
Will you please help me? Will you stand in my corner, believe in me and do this together with me?”
She was stunned.
There was a long moment of silence and it seemed like an eternity before she finally said,
“Okay. I believe in you. We can do this together. I will be there for you whenever you need me, whatever you need.
Let’s make dream happen.
Let’s make OUR dream happen.”
I smiled at her and a split of second later, she smiled back at me. A warm feeling spread through my body.
It was a beautiful moment of mutual acceptance.
“Yeah, we’ll get there alright,” I whispered to my best friend, the reflection that’s staring back at me from the mirror, as my hand met hers on the glass.
Don't miss a single word. Get Publishous Magazine delivered directly to your inbox each week for FREE!
Please complete the form below and you will receive the next episode directly to the email address you provide.