Sure, it would be easier just to throw some healing crystals at the energy vampires in our lives. While that may not be the intended use, it would certainly be satisfying to take a chunk of black tourmaline and smack someone with it. I don’t think, however, that violence is the answer, however healing the crystal that we use to defend our sacred energy. 

But it does seem like we need a garlic-equivalent to ward off energy vampires. 

I could give you a single strategy for addressing negative energy, but toxic relationships seem to require an entire arsenal of strategies in my experience. Besides, what works for one person or situation may be impractical for another. So let’s talk about energy vampires and what we can do about them.

Energy vampires are the people in our lives who drain our emotional resources. They’re high drama and require more than we’re capable of giving. They are the unhealthy relationships that make us feel bad about ourselves, never show support, and generally fill us with dread. They are the people who think the world revolves around them and never stop to ask how we are or check in on our lives. They like to talk and tell us their problems, but they’re not interested in listening. They may even be the people who show up only when they need something from us only to disappear when we’re not useful to them. 

Sometimes, the energy vampire is a workplace, colleagues, or family members. Sometimes, it’s an old friend that we’ve kept around too long. We all know them, and they can certainly plague our lives. 

Let’s talk about how to get rid of them or protect ourselves from their energy.

Surround yourself with life. 

Spend time in nature. Put plants inside your home and/or workplace. Garden. Do some forest bathing where you are immersed in nature. Go camping. Take a walk on the beach. Go for a swim. Being surrounded by life and growing things will help elevate your mood. 

Smudge yourself and your environment.

Stock up on sage. Burning sage has scientifically-proven benefits to clean the air- of bacteria, not just negative energy. And maybe tell the energy vampires to go smudge themselves while you’re at it. 

Crystals- wear them, don’t throw them. 

Many people swear by the healing power of crystals. I swear by the healing power of the placebo effect. Whatever makes you feel better, do that. It certainly can’t hurt to have a few crystals on hand. 


To keep ourselves centered, we need to be able to clear our minds and find a little bit of peace in the day. Even if we only take a few minutes each day, meditation can be a powerful antidote to the energy vampire. Centering ourselves makes it more difficult for others to throw us off balance.

Do yoga.

Warrior poses. Tree pose. Corpse pose. It doesn’t really matter what flow you choose. Yoga is the ultimate in self-care. It’s physical exercise that requires our mindful presence. Go to the mat, find your center, and feel the stress of the energy vampire begin to melt away as you remember that we are all connected. 

Be thankful.

The energy vampire wants to pull us into their drama. They want us to be as off-balance as they feel. Their misery requires our company. When we practice gratitude and live from it, it makes it hard for an energy vampire to pull us down to their level. We’ll tend to feel more positively, think more positively, and have less time for drama.

Practice abundance.

Energy vampires live from a scarcity mentality. It’s fear-based and draining. Abundance is life-affirming, grateful, and optimistic. When we manifest good things in our lives, energy vampires aren’t typically getting the negative attention that they are used to receiving. We simply are too busy living out our dreams to waste our time with their endless toxic drama. 

Keep a sense of humor. 

Toxic people are just the worst. Don’t let it take your sense of humor. What I mean is this: when something negative happens, try to find the humor in it. Even the most twisted humor can still make us laugh. Laughter is healing, as we all know, and if we can find a way to laugh it off, we’re generally not suffering as much. So do that. Laugh off the insanity and drama. 

Kill them with silence, not kindness.

Some people are toxic to the point that kindness just doesn’t work. It just feeds their need for our attention. At a certain point, the best protection is to disengage from the relationship out of love rather than anger. We can simply tell them that we’re happy to have a healthy relationship but will no longer be participating in unhealthy ones. 

When we decide that we’re tired of dealing with negative people and their drain on our energy, we will find a way. We’ll cut them out of our lives, set boundaries, or increase our emotional resources. We can’t control what other people do, but we can certainly set boundaries as to what we’re willing to allow into our lives. There’s power in that. It’s the garlic-equivalent that will protect our sanity and spirit and let them know that their way of being may be understood but not tolerated in our space. We can love them from a distance or from our bubble of protection, but it’s not our job to feed their negativity or to fix them. 

Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned full-time writer. Her work has been featured on Medium, Elephant Journal, the Good Men Project, The Urban Howl, Elite Daily, and Your Tango. Her first fiction novel, Left on Main, will be released by Sands Press Fall 2019.
Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned full-time writer. Her work has been featured on Medium, Elephant Journal, the Good Men Project, The Urban Howl, Elite Daily, and Your Tango. Her first fiction novel, Left on Main, will be released by Sands Press Fall 2019.

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