Drum rollllll…


He who is not happy with a little will not be happy with a lot — Lao Tzu


I was reminiscing about my last year.

For the most part, 2018 was insanely uncertain.

It was a
confusing 
challenging 
stressful
anxious
sad 
sometimes overwhelmingly frustrating year.

There was the almost daily gut-wrenching
shitty news, the stunningly wild political climate,
the sheer volume of school shootings, the wildfires, and border issues, men in ‘power’ being brought down for lewd behaviors.

The uncertainty of almost everything in the world.

Then, the uncertainty in my own life.

Bob, my boyfriend’s sister in her 50s has escalating MS symptoms, his mom just had her toe amputated from Diabetes plus a myriad of other health crap,
two of my closest friends have life-threatening issues and in chronic pain.

My therapist just revealed to me that she is going through a divorce hence taking 2 months off because she discovered her husband of 25 years was a narcissist? SHIT DAMN!

Then my dad had 4 strokes and was put into an assisted living center.

Also, this year I continued to have odd unexpected and scary panic attacks from out of the blue…

and then

just to top it all off
my beloved cat of 20 years died a few days ago.


But I’m not one to sit and wallow for tooooo long without coming out from under the veil so I began listing some of the good things about 2018.

My favorite things about last year.

Photo by Kenrick Mills on Unsplash

Friendship
Writing
Reading
Walking in the park
Spending quiet time with Bob
Sunshine
Looking at moonlight
Hiking
Watching cloud formations
Petting, snuggling and spending time with my cats
Deep meaningful conversations
Meditation
Music
Fresh brewed coffee.

What do all these have in common?

DRUM ROLLLLL…

They’re all FREE!

All of these (except for the coffee, but I had to throw that in!) cost me NOTHING!

WOW. I had to stop and marvel at this list.

Isn’t it amazing that when I look back on my year the things that meant the most to me were those things that cost me no money? Not one thing that gave my life the most meaning had to do with money at all.


Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

I think back to my past when I made my living selling my visual art. I remember having this daily ‘log’ at my studio/gallery where I logged in all of my sales at the end of each day.

It was detailed list of the money I made that day. When I raked in a huge pile of money I felt like…a queen?

That list of sales seemed sooo damn important to me. The money I generated daily was to remind me — that I was

OK?
Valuable?
Worthy to be on this planet?

SHIT!!?

But now that I’ve changed my life, my perceptions and my reality, NONE of that matters.

NONE AT ALL.

I believe far more in friendship. Far more in love. Far more in marveling at my cats purring on top of me. Far more in the moon and the sky and the formations in the clouds. 
OH, I LOVE CLOUDS!

I do want to shout out a few friends who were soooper dooopper valuable to me this year, and who made this year more meaningful. My friends have been most wonderful in getting me through this past very tough year.

I call a good friend and we ponder the Universe. 
We talk about books, literature, spirituality, cats, 
Our dysfunctional families. hehe 
We talk about life. 
And, that is life-affirming. That is worth everything. These things are the things money can’t buy. Yeah, I just realized that…

The BEST THINGS IN LIFE TO ME ARE FREE!


THANKS FOR READING 
and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL
!

Michelle Monet is a poet, author, memoirist, vocalist and musician. She has published five non-fiction books, four ‘poetic memoirs’ and is working daily on her showbiz survival memoir. She loves to write and believes in writing as a ‘healer’. Visit Michelle at MichelleMonet.com.
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Michelle Monet is a poet, author, memoirist, vocalist and musician. She has published five non-fiction books, four ‘poetic memoirs’ and is working daily on her showbiz survival memoir. She loves to write and believes in writing as a ‘healer’. Visit Michelle at MichelleMonet.com.

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