Just say it, when you need help
The trouble I met is changing my attitude toward asking for help.
When I looked at the room, the first things I noticed was the bed, located in the center of the room, a queen size bed! “Great,” I thought, “I could sleep well in the night.”
The room was neat, spacious. There were two large, walk-in closets, occupied the whole long side wall. I would share housing with landlords, an old couple who came from Taiwan.
Only three people would live in the house. As the rent was only $xxx per month, included all utilities, it was indeed an excellent deal. So I decided to take the room.
I didn’t care much about a bed before when I was looking for a room to rent. I had lived in many places and slept on a single size bed for a long time. It was just recently that I started to think about a bed, concerning if the bed was comfortable or not because I had some difficulties to sleep well on the night.
My current landlord was extremely thrifty, and the bed she bought for me was tiny. I always doubted if the bed was just for a teenager. So now when I saw a queen size bed, I thought, at least something that I was satisfied, and something would be much better than that in my current place.
That day was Monday, so I told my new landlord that I would move in on the weekend.
On Saturday night, after moving my stuff for a whole day, I was tired. Lying on the bed and going to sleep I felt the mattress very uncomfortable. Was the bed ancient? Why was the surface of the mattress so uneven? I thought, but I was so tired, not thinking much, and I was fallen to sleep soon.
Next day on Sunday night I started to notice what problem the bed had. In the center of the bed it was sturdy and flat, but on the left side and right side they were very soft, caved in. So I was lying on the center, my back felt uncomfortable.
Probably I was tired, and even though I felt uncomfortable, I was still falling to sleep.
On the third night, Monday night, I was not able to sleep. My thought started to spin. I thought the bed probably slept by a couple before so that they made the left side and right side caved in. How many years had they slept on this bed?
I lay on the center and tried to force the center part to cave in to make the whole bed flat. But it made my back hurt. If I slept on the left side or right side, it also made me very uncomfortable. Both were very narrow, much smaller than the width of a single size bed.
I thought I was wrong about the bed now.
I didn’t know how I was going to complain to my landlord. Could they buy a new bed for me? But I didn’t think they would. Did I need to buy a new one for myself? What would they think about me if I did, might considering I was too picky? I didn’t want to make both unhappy when I just moved in.
Getting up, turned on light, I was tried to check out what problem the bed had. I moved the mattress to one side, showed out the bottom frame, and I used my hand to touch its surface and felt that, under the cloth, there was only one column in the center, the left side and right side were empty.
How could the surface of the bottom frame be like that? Was its upper side down? It was too heavy that I was not able to turn it over to check it out by myself.
So I went to bed again and tried to sleep on one side…
Next morning when I saw my landlord, I complained to them. They came to my room to check it out — the bottom frame was upper side down!
Why didn’t I tell them earlier? My landlord asked me.
Just say it, when you need help.
I am a very independent person, don’t like to ask others for help, and always trying to do everything by myself, which could explain why I was successful in my career.
But right now I think, probably this kind habit also caused me some problems before — I wasted much valuable time doing somethings unnecessarily by myself alone, and if I asked someone for help, perhaps it only needed me just a few seconds and saved me a lot of time.
More severe problems probably it caused me were to isolate myself from the world, I didn’t like to socialize with others, no friends, very lonely, and sometimes when I need someone’s help, I couldn’t find one.
I always thought when I asked someone’s help, it would bother others a lot, but usually, it was not, and many people would be delighted to help others.
Now I start to pay attention to my surroundings, trying to help others as I can. Helping others is also helping myself — helping my mind, my spirit, my soul. It could bring me pleasure and happiness. It could make me socialize with others.
More important, now I am trying to learn to ask other’s help :
Just say it, when you need help.