And how I found true love right smack dab in the middle.
I was 21 when I first started using craigslist to go on dates. I had just returned from an 18 month LDS mission and I wanted to get married. Going to school among a lot of other members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at Brigham Young University, and not married at 21 years old left me feeling like an old lady.
I wanted desperately to find a “soulmate.” Someone to fall in love with and have a fairytale relationship with. That was not happening for me with the boys from school, the ones that I tried to date.
I call them “boys” for a very good reason. Because that is exactly what they were.
Boys who had not yet grown into men.
In 2010, I was 24 and still single. I felt absolutely ancient.
Online dating was fairly new to me, and I thought I might try my hand at it, but I was far too embarrassed to sign up for an actual dating site, though there were plenty to go around.
This was before Tinder, or any other mobile dating site. So I did the next best thing. I posted yet another ad on the Craigslist classifieds asking to go on a date. I had been doing this on and off for a few years but had never had any luck in finding anyone worthwhile enough for me to spend time with.
My inbox was flooded with responses within just a few minutes of me posting it.
This was pretty typical of when I would post an ad. I’d usually get hundreds of replies within a very short time.
I had been through this more than a dozen times, and I knew what to do. I started weeding through who I thought might be good and who I thought might not be. I came up with a list of names and started texting those on my list.
I knew I would run across into some pretty awful, and dead-end dates, but I thought why not give this a go a few more times?
I started dating just for the sake of dating. And pretty much all of those dates turned out to be duds. It was pretty typical for the boy who I had text to turn out to be a real loser. Most of the time they would want to take me to dinner, split the bill, then drive me out to the middle of nowhere so they could make out with me and cop a feel.
It was ridiculous.
I didn’t want to put out as an unmarried LDS woman. So I didn’t. And when I didn’t it would piss these boys off at me enough for them to promptly take me home and never call or text again.
This seemed to happen over and over again.
Until one fateful day when I decided to change my ad verbiage. Instead of just asking for a date I decided I would line out every single thing that I wanted in a man. I went into detail about how I wanted to be treated, how I was not having sex until marriage, how I wanted to just go on one single date with a guy that was willing to pay and have a good time together. Get to know each other maybe and see where it took us.
Nothing in my email inbox, no text messages, no phone calls.
For three long days, I just let my ad sit there with no response. I started to think that I should just give up dating, when it happened.
My husband texts me and said he would love to take me on a date.
I thought to myself there is no way. I didn’t believe he could really want to just take me on a date, get to know me, and not want to feel me up or try to have sex with me.
So what did I do you ask?
I didn’t answer him.
Instead the next day I posted another ad, changing it up a little so that it wouldn’t be recognized. And then I waited. One day passed. Then two. Then three. I began to think, “Yep, there is no way that guy was for real.” But on the third day, I went to check my email. Lo’ and behold there was an email from my husband stating almost the exact thing he had in his first email.
That he was a single guy looking for a nice girl to take out on a date and to see where the relationship might go. Maybe get married somewhere down the road if it was in the cards.
In other words exactly what I wanted.
And ironically enough he was the only one to respond to either ad.
So I decided to give him a chance.
We started texting each other every day. We did this for two weeks. Then, at the beginning of July, I was up in the High Uintas of Utah on a family reunion campout. I decided to drive down the mountain (so I could get service) and check my phone.
I had a missed voicemail.
I listened to it, and it was Curtis. He asked how I was doing, and told me that he had missed texting me since I was out of service. Then, he shyly asked if maybe I would like to be his girlfriend.
Well I called him right back and said, “Yes of course I want to be your girlfriend.” I headed back to Provo after my family reunion and went over to his grandparents to meet him for the first time.
Before I got there I asked him if he would give me a hug when he first saw me. He said of course he would (and later told me he was hit with a tidal wave of emotion and knew that we would get married as soon as he hugged me) and when I pulled up he wrapped his arms around me and gave me the best hug I had ever had.
After that we became inseparable. We spent every single day together for the rest of the summer.
The last day of July we were engaged.
And then we were married on the 10th day of October.
Some people would say that we moved too fast, but I always tell people, “When you know, you know.”
Now almost 10 years, three kids, and lots of ups and downs, later, we are happier than we could have ever imagined in 2010. He is the love of my life and luckily I am his. I am so happy that he reached out to me and that I took a chance to actually talk to him.
We have had our struggles, but they have only made us stronger as individuals and as a couple.
And for that I am forever grateful.
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