can lead you to true joy
I’ve been feeling a ‘quiet joy’ lately. It’s a nice peaceful easy feeling, as the Eagles song said.
Louise Foerster wrote about joy yesterday in a medium article. She suggested to:
”…demand that there be joy in the process, a surging force that energizes, inspires, and drives us.”
If there is no joy in the process, why are you doing it?
The ‘process’ of writing I feel SHOULD be joyous.
I realized today that I do feel joyful and peaceful.
I am joyful…
because I am writing.
I am following my muse.
I am sitting here at 3 a.m. wearing two mismatched socks (I couldn’t bother to find matching ones today), and an ugly robe and slippers. I’m not sure when I showered last…but it’s been …a while?…he-he…BUT — I’m feeling joy.
A quiet joy.
Joy is an emotion that I think is quiet. It’s not loud sometimes.
It’s just an inner knowing.
A feeling of calm. That you are on the right path.
No one needs to confirm it.
No one needs to pat you on the back.
You just know for yourself.
That’s true joy.
I’ve been on a creative rollll for a while now, following my inner ‘muse’, ironically and oddly since my cat died last week.
I am peaceful knowing she is no longer in pain.
A nice joyful wave of ideas has also been rushing my brain lately, to the point where I don’t know if I have enough years left to tell all the stories I want to tell!!
Such a wave of ideas that it’s almost a tsunami.
Maybe that’s why I write so feverishly.
So that I can CATCH THESE WAVES.
LET THEM TAKE ME to where they want to go.
My thoughts are crashing to the shore.
It’s a bit like I’m WRITING FOR MY LIFE too.
You’ve heard RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE.
Well, this is like WRITING FOR MY LIFE?
I know I have maybe 5 or more books in me to get out of my head in my lifetime. I might only have 20,30 years left so I want to get BUSY!
I feel I have almost an endless stream of story ideas too.
A friend said, “how do you think up all those ideas daily?”
To be honest it comes from a spiritual deep place within me. I know its a beautiful thing.
Its the muse. You can’t explain the ‘muse’ to someone.
The muse is also a quiet thing.
I’ve had this love affair with my muse many times in my life. When I first discovered visual art in 1996 I was walking alone on the beaches of Sea Point, South Africa in Cape Town.
I had just lost everything.
My husband took all my money, my long-time music career was over, my hope for the future was bleak and I was alone in a foreign country.
I recall the muse waking me at 4 a.m saying, ‘Let’s take a walk to the beach..’. Huh? It’s 4 a.m!!
But I got dressed and left the house.
It was an eerie yet joyful feeling of being alone with the world. Alone with my muse. Not a soul in sight.
As I began to stroll the shoreline I began looking down at the seashells. Kicking them…collecting twigs, rocks, and shells and putting them all in a bag. Then I took them back to the small room I rented and feverishly arranged them all together on a page.
The muse was asking me to make art collages. So I did.
It was an odd thing — a mystery — - as to why I was so compelled (after a lifetime in the music business) to make visual art so feverishly and suddenly. But, I felt I HAD TO! I had never made any art before.
I was 38 years old. It was a lifeboat in my sea.
So, I followed my muse. It told me to create art. It inevitably ended up leading me to an unexpected career in visual art about 2 years later.
I feel the same now with my writing. The voice within tells me to write so I write.
Honestly, I don’t care if anyone notices or reads my writing, although it’s nice of course that people do.
I do this daily writing for me. I also want to compile a bunch of essays for future books. Also, my old lady self is cheering me on from the future saying ‘WRITE woman. WRITE!”…
THAT’S really who I listen to now.
My muse and my old lady self.
My inner muse is strong.
Yeah, I write a lot. Writing a large volume is one of my gifts. I always have been prolific with my creative energy.
I might even crank it up to full speed ahead now and write more than 2 stories a day on medium, which was my goal recently.
Maybe I’ll nudge it up to 3 or 4. My boyfriend says ‘Heck why limit yourself!??” My fingers seem to want to move even more than that so heyyyyy who am I to stop them?
So, I’m in a joyful quiet mood today.
and I like it.
I’m not anxious.
I’m not panicky or tense.
I’m not sad or depressed.
I’m following my muse.
I might be accused of writing too much… (hmm can a woman write too much or be too skinny?? I don’t think so!!)
Hey, tell that to Stephen King! He wrote feverishly and almost constantly and kept up that pace for years and years. He told us in his book On Writing that he wrote steadily, almost every possible hour he could find, his entire life, and he still does.
This is a bit like me lately.
For some reason, I am marveling at how much my fingers want to mooooooove so I’m letting them. haha.
I must admit I go to bed with stories dancing in my head, not sugarplums but story ideas. I keep a notebook next to my bed so god forbid I don’t lose an idea.
I HATE THAT.
I also feel damn LUCKY and thankful as shit to have the time now to write now.
Circumstances have changed in my life and I have a lot of time to focus my energies towards my writing so I am taking FULL ADVANTAGE of it. I mean, who the heck knows when some other family crisis will take me down and I won’t have this opportunity.
So, I’m taking advantage of it by sitting my butt down.
Trust me I’ve been in a lot of shit storms this past year, where I had zero desire or even strength to write a word.
I was so down that I wasn’t sure Id get up.
Now I remind myself of how lucky I am to do this thing I love to do.
I do think about how damn lucky I am to be able to sit here in my comfy slippers surrounded by my cats and write.. .and make a difference.
Bring an act of creation into the world every time I press publish.
That is magic.
There’s joy in this.