I used to complain about my life. I used to hate my job. I used to live in a perpetual cycle of moving home. Something would always happen and I would have to move out. It was my story for many years while living a carefree single life in London. I lived everywhere in London.

To name a few — Victoria, Covent Garden, Notting Hill, Putney, Elephant & Castle, Edgware Road, Ealing Broadway, Maida Vale, Hampstead and half of it I don’t remember anymore. You get the gist of many places. I worked in various companies oil and gas, government, massive tech corporation, tech startups and agencies.

Living in various parts of London made me learn about London. Working in different companies made me learn how business work. I am grateful for the experience which I have created for myself. My work bought me my freedom. However, I wasn’t happy. I was complaining. I was miserable most of the time even though I could go to a theatre which I love so much. I could go to classical music concerts and see opera.

Those moments filled my soul with so much and kept me going. However, I was complaining and was miserable. I would lead pretty much the same life as any other young late twenties early thirties woman. Go out with my friends after work, go out at the weekends and have fun and think that’s all there is to it.

I would have adventures what I had thought the experience of a lifetime but nothing ever led me to create what I truly wanted. Everything I created was because of some kind of lack. I was complaining and wasn’t happy. Anyone looking at my life at that time would think I am successful, doing really well and am super happy. I was busy with things that didn’t make me create and be who I truly was.

My complaining got me nowhere. I had everything but nothing fulfilled me. I wasn’t going forward. I was circling around the same things that led me nowhere. I wasn’t growing. I was pretending to be who I wasn’t. Most people go to work, go out, have more fun at the weekends and a new week is the same as the last.

I was thinking most people live their lives like that so I should be ok with it too. I would talk myself into believing it’s ok to live this way. I was talking myself into being the other grey sleepwalking figure in a sea of the sameness. However, I wanted to be a soul that lives in colour rather than pretend. Everything I had was an illusion and I couldn’t stop complaining. It’s like living in a bubble of everything amazing and yet feeling unfulfilled. The worst of it was I started to think it’s ok because everyone else is the same. It’s a norm. Until one day everything changed. I woke up from this weird reality that I called life. I made a decision to think differently. That’s all think differently. I changed. I listen to my soul.

I decided I am not afraid to say “no”. I quit the empty life that I was creating. I decided to live. “You either get busy living or get busy dying” —The Shawshank Redemption. Everything in that moment changed. I started writing my book and my blog. I started loving myself. I quit the job I hated. I stopped complaining and took charge of my own life.

I started to think for myself rather than follow the massive crowd that goes with me to work in the morning. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw, I started to create me who I wanted to be. How did things change? Massive! I met a man of my dreams. I got married. I moved to a few countries. I write every day.

I am working on my book. I am in a continuous cycle of creating. I have never once complained. I don’t know what it even means to complain. My soul is living the dream because I feed it with things that create joy and love. I live in a place of love. It’s not London or Lithuania or any other place that makes people miserable. We create it.

I created a different life when I woke up from my ‘follow the rest’ dream. I woke up and made a decision so can everyone else. I am not special. I am exactly like everyone else. I had the guts to wake up and do something different. Everyone else has to make a choice for themselves. I changed one thing which is thinking. I stopped complaining and my life changed.

Life is what you make it so go make one make what you’ve always wanted. All it takes is to wake up and create. We are capable of everything we want to create. ‘If you dream it you can have it’ as someone said.

Erika writes about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Visit Erika on Medium.
Erika writes about personal experiences within a humanist and global context. Visit Erika on Medium.
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