After years of searching, and wrong turns, you’ve finally found the one of your dreams. Your eyes meet across a crowded room, in a dim cafe, walking by the sea — all those old cliches, yet fresh and new. Your best friend, your soul mate — you meet, you fall in love, you promise each other ‘forever.’
You stick together through thick and thin, through all the ups and downs that life has thrown at you. You build a life together and make a happy home in which to grow old — together.
You’ve weathered all the storms — or have you? What happens when the one you love, your best friend, your soul mate, tells you they don’t love you anymore?
You ask yourself, “How did this happen? When did this happen? When did it start? How could I not have seen it?”
How do you pick up the pieces and go on when the one you loved doesn’t want you anymore?
The first step, before you can even begin to even think about moving forward, is to acknowledge where you are right now, as much as it hurts — to be there in the pain — to allow yourself to experience your hurt, your grief, your anger.
Only after we acknowledge our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them, will we be able to move beyond them and begin to heal.
This is one of the ways I deal with my pain — I write.
When Love Dies…
Two hearts lie, bleeding, on a floor where love once lived, now cold and lorn;
To lips that spoke of love, to arms that held all life, and light, and hope,
To souls, now empty of that pairing bond, one to another bound, I say,
“How can I live,
How can I breathe, when all the air is gone –
When all the love is gone?”
And answers have I none…
Two hearts lied. Bleeding on the floor, love lies as well. Cold, alone,
Two lips that spoke of love, two arms that once held all the world
In sacred bond, now nothing hold — no one loves here anymore;
My arms are empty now;
My bed is empty as the life you left behind;
A life that wonders how
It goes, unwanted, on…
Did love die slowly, strangling from the petty ‘day-to-day’?
Did sight, and sound, and too-familiar chafing wear away desire?
When turned your head, your heart, from mine?
I never loved you less;
You smile still brightens rooms and warms my heart,
A beacon shining through the storm,
Safe harbor’s light…
My mind is racing, counting up the signs — so crystal in the clarity of hindsight,
Ticking off the signals not received, the subtle shadings then ignored,
And every slightest hint of looking other-ward…
The willful blindness
Of Love’s un-belief, undone by need, and fear,
And yet, shamed by desire,
Still wanting you…
Our bed is empty, sheets once dewed with love are sweat-slick cold,
Bone-deep arm-ache, gut-sick, frozen in the icy breath of un-desire;
And this bleeding heart, ce coeur sangant, this sign of grieving love,
Bleeds out that last drop
Of our love upon the stony, unforgiving ground
Where lover’s roses, verdant, bloomed
In scarlet grace…
This heart is far too bruised and torn to start again, to seek anew,
To search, to hope — too many pieces Humpty-like upon the floor;
Some bits of dreams, some shards of prayer. No potter’s hand
Could ever mend, un-break,
What careless hands left, loosed, and threw away;
Thus shattered trust and faith, and broke
From grief am I…
Yet broke and heart-worn, still I linger here, though not for love,
For love is gone to others arms, and empty of you, mine hold only memories.
Hold fast to dreams, for fast they fade and faster, flee from my embrace
Hold heart, hold mind, hold self,
And gently fold the shredded rags of soul
Against another day when breath,
Might yet return…