Depend on yourself and be unstoppable

I woke up with my face covered in blood sitting in the driver’s seat of my Honda Civic wagon. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and thought I was in a horror flick.

There was a knock on the driver’s side window that shook me back into reality. I realized what was happening, I was in a horrific car crash.

I could not open my door and had to climb over the stick shifter to get out the other side.

As I climbed out a Good Samaritan brought me a towel to wipe the blood from my face. I walked around to the front of my car to see the front end was smashed in and looked like an accordion.

My car was totally destroyed and knew I would have to rely on people to get me around. I was attending college at the time and my schedule was erratic. I was commuting back and forth 30–40 minutes each way. I felt helpless and at the mercy of other people.

I never wanted to feel this way EVER again and swore I would never be so reliant on people in the future.

Being self-reliant means you rely on yourself to be happy, be in control of your own destiny, control your attitude and attention- your mood and focus, determine your own quality of life.

“Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient.” Aristotle

No Excuses That I Know

“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” George Washington Carver

All of us have excuses for why we didn’t get something done.

Life got too busy.

I’m not smart enough.

I don’t have the right education or know the right people.

I don’t have enough time.

That last excuse always burns me up because you have the same 24 hours the rest of us have. You just choose to fill that time with things like binging the last season of Game of Thrones or spending hours on Facebook or Twitter wondering what Donald Trump or one of the Kardashians saying.

Self-reliant people schedule their time to better themselves and don’t waste it watching others live their dreams. They make life happen instead letting life control and manipulate their circumstances.

Have a Stern Identity

“Your life will be a blessed and balanced experience if you first honor your identity and priority.” Russell M. Nelson

Like him or hate him there is not denying Howard Stern has a strong identity. He is a unique individual who makes no apologies who he is.

Everything you see and hear is always telling you to change to fit into a certain identity or role. Be someone you are not to fit their idealistic vision of what you should look and sound like.

Howard Stern never fit into any of the roles or stereotypes that his bosses at the radio station try to squeeze him into. They wanted him to be a copy of the ideal disc jockey they envisioned, not who he really was.

People who depend on themselves don’t bend to what society tells them they should be or look like. They are individuals who don’t conform to society but have society conform to them. Don’t look outward at how people are living. Look inward on how you were meant to live.

Show the world who you are and be recognized for how different you are.

Bring On Loss

We all fear losing anything from a job to money to getting divorced. We are scared to death at the thought of the possibility and would do almost anything to avoid it.

Our brain goes into shock mode and a million thoughts race to the forefront of our mind. How will I survive? Will I be homeless? How will I feed my family? How will I survive without her?

The amygdala part of the brain is activated when you realize you are about to lose something and begins firing neurotransmitters and hormones into your system. The state of your brain waves changes triggering these thoughts.

People who are able to flip the script and invite loss to deactivate the amygdala and remain focused and in control. They have broken the cycle many people go through when loss is introduced.

Using loss in this way will center you and bring perspective to whatever you fear losing.

Stop Acting Like A Child

“The price of greatness is responsibility.” Winston Churchill

When we were kids we had a carefree existence with nothing but fun and good times on our minds. When something happened the first thing we did was to deny that it wasn’t us. Who broke the window? Wasn’t me. Who shaved your sister’s head? Wasn’t me.

We never took responsibility for anything.

Many adults kept this pattern as they got older. Why is your life not where you want it to be? How come you didn’t get that promotion? How come your marriage didn’t work out?

For all these questions we came up with excuses and blamed other people and not ourselves for the way things are.

Let me ask how is that working out for you? Probably not very good.

Take responsibility for everything in your life including successes, failures, mistakes, happiness and misery. This will give you strength and control and your situation will improve dramatically before your eyes.


Excuses are for people who don’t want to succeed and take charge of their life. It is easier for them to blame anything and everything except themselves.

Be a strong personality who makes the world fit in with them instead of catering to others whims. Be unique. Be different. Be someone nobody can carbon copy.

Embrace loss. Do not fear it. Inviting it will make you invincible and nothing will be able to hurt you.

Economy crashed and most of your money is gone. Accept responsibility and plan better next time and you won’t be in that boat ever again.

All of us have the power to be self-reliant and live the life we dream of. Nobody should wait for validation or acceptance into anything.

Many men and women abide by this life and achieve greatness. There is no reason why you cannot do the same. You are just as capable and special as them.


I am a writer who attempts to part life lessons on my readers. My hope is to educate all on what things I have learned throughout my years on Earth. I also write short stories that teach lessons as well.
I am a writer who attempts to part life lessons on my readers. My hope is to educate all on what things I have learned throughout my years on Earth. I also write short stories that teach lessons as well.

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