A cure to your internal pain
You worry about your relationships, your financial situation, your life and you worry about your loved ones.
You feel anxious about taking a decision: “Maybe I’m not the best fit for this”.
You fear the outcome of an event. You fear your taxi will crash. You fear your airplane will drop head-first into the vast ocean.
Whether it’s only one or all together, worry, anxiety, and fear are what prevent you from being you. They block the greatness within you.
It is what strips us from the joys, opportunities, and wonders of life.
While I can’t promise you that this will cure your worries, fears, and anxiety, I can promise you that if you take action on what I’m about to share, you’ll know for yourself if this is the cure for your internal pain.
Worry is how everything starts.
You wake up one day and you worry about the events that might unfold throughout the day that has just started.
As you so-desperately fight with your worries, you can only sit in despair realizing that fighting your inner-thoughts only further amplify them.
Worrying is part of our nature. It’s a default state in which your mind drifts when you’re not paying attention.
When you let your guard against this beast, it will spiral out of control.
This doesn’t mean that you’ll be part of some “legendary never-ending” battle against the terrifying beast called “Worries”.
If you do want to battle it, you are free to do so, but beware that the stakes for this battle will be high.
Worries can always find a crevice in your life to crawl in. They destroy the most joyful moments of our lives.
Myself, I had to face constant worries. I can tell you countless times when I was having a great time with my friend before my worries got the best of me.
“What if we’ll start arguing?”
“What if someday he leaves?”
These thoughts stormed through my mind because I had lost control of myself. I had unknowingly allowed these worries to ruin so many great moments.
We’ll never be able to completely defeat worries.
That’s why the stakes for battelling your worries are so high. You’ll crumble before your very own thoughts, and along with you all your hopes.
While you can’t defeat it, you can subdue it. You can stop feeding it so it grows into something worse.
If I could go back in time, the only thing I would do to subdue my worries would be to ask myself:
“What am I grateful for in this moment?”
Had I asked this question in all those situations, it would’ve been different.
I would’ve seen that I can be grateful for having a friend with whom I can be comfortable being my true self. That thought alone would’ve turned the tables.
While you and I both could sit all day and wonder what might have been we are not going to do that.
You can subdue your worries by being grateful in the moments when you feel your worries starting to rise.
See the beauty left around you and you’ll be happy.
Anxiety is the final phase of your long-lasting battle with your worries.
When worries start spiraling out of control, it inevitably translates into anxiety which has an insatiable hunger for more and more worries.
It’s when you start to falter in all of your life’s areas. This is the disease that it’s draining you of both mental and physical energy.
Your mind starts to take over your day-to-day life. Instead of you ruling the mind, the mind rules you.
You start to question everything you do. You are unsure about yourself, you worry how your actions will be perceived by others, you even worry about worrying.
Each day that passes, anxiety slowly consumes you from the inside.
If simply worrying wasn’t painful enough, having to struggle with anxiety is a torment.
You don’t say: “Ouch! It hurts!”. It’s not a form of physical pain, yet it can hurt more than it.
You’re not showing any signs of wounds: no blood, no cuts. You just feel a pain residing inside you which rips you apart. Moreover, it’s the fact that no one but yourself can truly understand the pain you have to go through.
All the people you didn’t talk to, the places you haven’t gone to, all the regrets you’ve ever had all because of anxiety, a pain that seems to never subside.
To better understand anxiety, we have to understand how our brain behaves.
Let’s take a scenario in which you almost get hit by a car. At that moment, your brain releases adrenaline which gets you in a state of high-alertness.
Your heart is pumping more blood, you’re breathing faster. Basically, it’s your system’s Fight-or-Flee mode in action.
In this scenario, your brain understands the cause of your “anxiety”. Once the event has passed, your body will go back to normal.
The problem arises when you’re having the same symptoms, yet you’re not in actual danger. Your brain is confused and so when you are called out in school you get sweaty, you turn bright red and you shake a little.
Depending on the level of your anxiety, you’ll have different variations of these symptoms, but generally, it involves turning red and sweating.
But there’s a twist to it.
You see, physiologically both anxiety and excitement are the same things. You get the same symptoms. If you’ve ever experienced true excitement, you know you’ll get this sudden burst of energy in you.
The difference between anxiety and excitement is that one drains you of energy and the other one charges you.
Just like your normal worries, you might not completely defeat anxiety but you can use it as a superpower.
To gain this superpower, you have to reframe your anxiety as excitement. This will prevent your nervous feelings from escalating by redirecting your focus towards something that excites you.
How you do it?
Whenever you’re feeling anxious, just repeat in your mind: “I’m excited…” and fill in with what is exciting about what you’re going to do.
As a matter of fact, I’ve used this reframing technique two days ago before contacting a writer with which I wanted to share a few ideas I had for him.
I turned “What if he is busy?”, “What if I disturb him?” into “I am excited to share my insights with him” and “I’m excited to get to know him” in a matter of seconds.
It won’t instantly change your mindset. You’ll have to fight every day with yourself in order to reframe your anxiety into excitement, but it’s sure as hell going to be worth it.
Fear is the guide that helps us find an exit when we find ourselves face to face with the unknown, whatever form it may take.
It’s the way out of any situation in which we feel insecure about.
And just like worries and anxiety, it does an amazing job at robbing you of the beautiful moments in your life.
Whenever I was in a car, I always feared that something will happen. I had this feeling that it’s just had to happen.
Maybe an asteroid or an airplane will come down exactly where we are or the tire from the car in front of us will come bursting through the windshield.
Thoughts such as this are what prevented me from enjoying the great moments from a trip with my family or simply watching the view outside and taking it all in.
I had distorted my perspective with negative outcomes of the moments I was living.
Looking back, sometimes, I still feel some discomfort at the thought that I missed so many great moments.
But remorse for the past won’t brighten the present nor the future.
In order to beat the fears I had to face countless times, I needed an anchor-thought.
It’s a thought that drifts you away from fear.
For example, if you’re afraid when traveling with an airplane, all you have to do is think about how much you’ll enjoy your time in the country you travel to.
Similarly to the anxiety solution, you have to redirect your focus toward positive, exciting thoughts.
The more you use anchor thoughts, the more your fears will subside.
Worry, anxiety, and fear is inevitable in our lives.
At one point we’ll have to face them head-on.
You won’t have to destroy them but conquer them. Use them as a source of positive power.
Every scary situation will become a new opportunity to venture into. Your worries become moments of gratitude. Your anxiety will transform into excitement.
Be proud that you’ve put a fight with these beasts and you’ve stood up for yourself.
Neither therapy nor drugs or medicine can truly solve your worries, anxieties, and fears. The only solution is you.
Master your mind and anything is possible.