FEAR- The four letter word that can make or break a person!!
Every year we hear about the increase in suicide rates around the world, and no matter how much we improve our lives in all the fields, still the suicide rates have not yet come down.
Suicidal trends have been increasing among the teens, and suicidal thoughts among the students are more prominent.
Why do Suicidal thoughts arise?
Is it due to low self-esteem? or is it due to FEAR? Yes, the culprit behind all the anxiety and depressions is FEAR!!
The simple Four letter word has ample power to end a life.
Acceptance#1: My Journey towards facing Fear
I need to stop my ego and accept the fact that I was a fearful person from my childhood days.
I was terrified of everything and anything. Many times my heart was beating fast that I had to fake my expressions to behave I am a cool person, the reality is that I was, but my ego stopped me from expressing it.
The expression that fakes it till you make it was, in reality, a marketing gimmick. I really understood that you cannot trick your brain into believing it was right all the time and sooner or later your heart will show you the reality and all your drama of confidence will end up like a broken china plate.
Now its the time to face reality, Some truths are hard but when we learn to accept we are very relieved.
Acceptance#2: There are no permanent pills for curing Fear.
The anxiety and panic attacks suffered due to fear can only be cured temporarily. We need to accept the fact that after the social effects of the drugs and pills, the fear monster is waiting with full energy to eat us.
We need to understand with the clarity of mind that our fears are not higher than us and we have all the power in this world, to change and face the situation when we are afraid.
When you are stressed because of fear, stop going towards alcohol or any drugs and do some introspection on your self or find some strategies to face the situation. Never activate your Flight mode.
At some times be little crazy, tell your self “I will not sleep till I have found a cure for this F***ING issue. It is ok to belittle arrogant than giving into your fear.
Review#3: Spot symptoms and automatic reactions.
Your fear is continuously growing or dying every moment depending upon how you handle.
You need to sit down and write clearly during your past battles, when in fear what symptoms did you witness and what were your automatic reactions?
Some of the conditions that I faced was constant tiredness, unwilling to get up from the bed and face the day, constant feeling of Nausea, complete inability to listen to someone while the mind makes thoughts about fear. Separation from loved ones and continually wanting to spend time alone.
Once the symptoms and automatic reactions are understood, you can be your best doctor to reverse the signs.
Go out with your near and dear ones, forcing to move out from the fearful situation as soon as possible so your brain can re-wire to different conditions.
The most essential medicine against your fight with Fear is the awareness you bring about yourself. This is the first line of defence against your enemy now.
Understand#4: Homeostasis of your body
Homeostasis refers to the body’s need to reach and maintain a particular state of equilibrium. The term is often used to refer to the body’s tendency to monitor and sustain internal states such as temperature and energy levels at relatively constant and stable levels.
During the experience of fearful situations, our body has to move into Homeostasis mode for our protection. We need to be aware of this change and understand that not all cases are not panic situations.
There is a vast difference between facing a tiger and facing a boss who is arrogant and heavy headed and nagging.
I had faced the situation of working with such people earlier, and for many, this can be the reason they hate their job, but improving our awareness during that stressful conditions can help us better to take decisions or managing the problematic person.
Think#5: External control vs Internal control
In any situation or every situation make up your mind or take a resolution firmly that you will never hand the power of your mind to the will of external control and all the control remains with you.
If you are externally controlled, there is always fear and panic attacks. Even if you fail now, never ever allow other people to control you.
This is fundamentally the most important lesson to remember when facing your fears.
Delete#5: It is time to erase your self-made concepts.
Almost everyone has created many self-concepts about themselves.
Some of the common excuses being, I get nervous while driving, I am poor in Maths, I am always afraid of my parents, I cannot do this work
I am poor in that application, No matter how well I dress I don’t look good, Nobody likes to speak to me, No girls will love me, I will die without a girlfriend.
Please stop all your stupid beliefs, everybody can change, and anything can be learned. Start learning new things every day. It will build your confidence.
When you start to learn something, you will feel confident, and your mind will start working on new things so you will re-program yourself to move away from your fears and begin to accept some ideas.
I learned meditation, Neuroplasticity, Neuro-linguistic programming through Online courses from Udemy and Lynda.com and it changed my perspective on Life.
Go out into the world and get rejected every day but stop feeling, instead start to accept it
Getting rejected every day is an art itself, fear of rejection by our parents, rejection by our friends, rejection by my colleagues at work, constant rejection, and degradation by our bosses and rejection by the society can drive us mad and push us towards frequent panic attacks and we will be spending our time worrying about the fear of rejection.
A student commits suicide or kills himself just because his marks are low and he is not able to face this world due to the fear of rejection. We need to learn the art of being rejected but never to feel low.
Understanding the firm truth that nobody in this whole universe can reject you other than yourself is the core principle to be learned. If schools can teach this important concept many of the teen suicides could have been averted.
Our Insecurity that we feel every day is the result of not able to handle rejection.
Ask the truth#6: Fantasy vs Reality
Our life is not a video game, it is more stringent than the most robust first-person shooters that many people play every day.
Don’t perceive life-based on your ill-conceived notions and learn to look at life with clarity.
Understand that life is complicated and there are no shortcuts and no cheat codes to winning.
If you are a gamer, then remember that you should never quit and keep playing again and again till you overcome your fears.
Go from one step to next slowly facing your fears, you go to be the best fear fighter you have ever known. Earn points in life by meeting your fear every day.
There is nothing wrong with being an average person or a mediocre.
I can accept myself that I am just a mediocre person and of average intelligence level.
This is what I am, and I don’t feel bad about it, and I am happy about that too. My colleagues and my friends are intelligent than me. My wife is better than me in all aspects so what there to feel about that to compare myself with others.
Understand that even if you are an Einstien, there will be another Stephen Hawkins(sorry don’t know who is better!!!).
Accept your self always. There is nothing to compare with others, understand this and you will free yourself from many chains of fear. Genuine self-acceptance will ward off your worries.
Enjoy with humour when someone compares you with others, take pride that you are mediocre.
Acceptance#7: Be very comfortable with your discomforts
If you are afraid of meeting new people, then just don’t think more, get out to meet new people. Just open your mouth and start speaking, even if you look idiotic and being laughed at, its ok but never stop doing that. If you are an introvert, you will have to start to enjoy meeting people.
Imagine the fear every student will have to face during their first presentations. Just imagine that you are more intelligent than your listeners, this will ease your anxiety and you can start doing more presentations and with practice, you will be better.
There is no happiness being alone and spending time alone other than if you are going to write philosophy.
Life is about loving and understanding people, and the more you start speaking to other people the more you will like everyone. Soon your social anxiety will fade, and your confidence will be boosted.
I started loving the journey of facing my fears and understanding it better. I ask my readers to understand Fear better as more you begin meeting, it day by day, the power of Fear will diminish slowly.
Of all the lessons that I have learned in my life accepting the fear and moving forward has been my greatest realisation to date. I hope it will be the same for you.
If you think that this article has helped you to understand your fear please feel free to share.