why I don’t turn my back to negative emotions
I am optimistic. Always have been, and not even after endured deep sadness, lost and sickness I have changed.
I’m that person that always sees the glass half-full. I focus on the positive side of the events, instead of in the negativity. There’s always something good to take from it – a lesson, a self-development, a strength that is fed or a weakness that is empowered.
Sometimes (most of the times?) it’s only possible to recognise this potential after the emotional wound stops bleeding; when our heart settles and is able to unfocus of the trauma/bad experience/disappointment,… But it’s there, the personal growth awaits us. And as soon as we embrace it, it will push us forward.
Life has taught me a lot, but this is the most solid lesson I have learned — even the worse of the experiences has something positive. Yes, even tragic events, as the death of a loved one, will provide something positive, even if only a new coping mechanism. We learn how to survive, how to adjust to adversities.
However, living according to this belief doesn’t mean I turn my back to sadness, or that I go through adverse events with my mind dislocated from the present, pretending that bad things aren’t happening. Of course they are!
Each adverse event I live, I go deep into it, I feel each emotion that arises. I embrace each and one of them, I receive them in me, I try to understand why I’m reacting like I am; what happened, and what is going to change. Also, what has changed in me.
I have to live the negative. I cry, I get angry, disappointed, or frustrated. But, after the storm, I will look into the situation, I will analyse all the facts, and I will seek for the positive aspect of the situation. It’s there, I just have to open my heart to it, allow myself to leave the negativity behind. It can be hard. Damn, sometimes it’s too hard, but it has to be done! I refuse to live in a depressive or anger state. That is just not me and shouldn’t be any one.
Life is abundant in experiences: some are incredibly amazing, others are good enough, the opposite, or horrible, and traumatic.
What I’ve learned in my forty-five years of existence, is to allow myself time to be sad, depressed, to live through shitty days in a shitty mood.
I have to live the negative; it’s there, I can’t run away from it. The more I try to hide or pretend it’s not there, the worst will be, the longer it will stay lodged in my heart.
So, I face it: I cry if I have to, I question — sometimes with anger – why did I allow myself to be so vulnerable; I (temporary) regret my decisions, I distrust my instinct; I even question my sanity. Who never?
I don’t fight negative emotions or moods anymore. Now, I embrace them. At that moment, day or sequence of days, I just go with the flow; no matter where it takes me or how it makes me feel. It’s all part of being alive.
However, I refuse to be a hostage of the negativity. Enough is enough!
I will stay in the negative mood for a while, I will feel everything that the situation has to offer and then I’ll channel my energies for positive thoughts and emotions.
My way through life is to feel what each situation triggers me, as painful as it might be. Honestly feel it, without forcing its opposite, without detaching my emotions from what’s actually happening — in me and around me.
So, my advice for you is: cry, shout, hide your head under the pillow, be angry, be frustrated! But then come back to your Self. Don’t allow negativity to win the battle. Give it only the time to make you stronger to move forward, to look for the bright that it’s there, at the end of the negative path.
And then, stronger, go. Move. Conquer.
Be happy in life, with all the good things and with the bad things: with joyful and depressive days. There’s no such thing as perfection.