It’s A Lie…
Sometimes I feel blank. 💭 💭 💭
What the hell should I write?
Or let’s put it in a better way. What new should I write?
Every day, it’s the same story.
Like right now, I’m liking this one sentence per line idea, it’s good. But I’ll break the rule right HERE. 😌
Sometimes, it feels like a joke. To who am I writing? Is there someone on the other side to even hear me out? To actually grasp the message that I wish to deliver?
But then, in a few minutes, hours or days, I give a damn.
I’m going to write because I like to. I like to sit and talk to myself. And I’ve found a better way to do it. And that’s why I write.
There is another fear that sometimes catches hold of me. Will I be able to deliver the same quality of content or idea later on when I get a good audience to share with?
I’m writing a post here. Which, in my opinion, is quite genuine. But will I find such genuine ideas later on?
Or will I stumble upon to the same productivity articles that everyone is writing?
It’s a dilemma. A dilemma I wish I could stop thinking about. But it comes up again and again.
Sometimes I get carefree. And sometimes, I get concerned. That concern eats me up.
What if I exhaust all my great ideas right now?
Perhaps I should fish out some low energy ideas to start with.
What if I’m stuck this way forever?
I really want to buy an iPhone in the future. Will I be able to do it with the decisions I’ve taken?
My mind is always projecting the problem into the future. And for some extra topping on the pizza, it brings over some past references, too.
Deal with that, bro!
Basically, it will do everything instead of tackling the situation here and now.
Then when I’m doing something else, it’ll tell me to find guest posting sites to help me grow.
Now it doesn’t want to eat the tasty food sitting right in front of me. It wants to guest post at Huffington and become famous.
And when I come here to write, it doesn’t want to face the blinking cursor. Now it wants to think all that I’ve mentioned earlier.
This is how a blinking cursor can make you end up in a mind trap.
I’ve started to change the way I write now. I don’t let my mind think about what I’m going to write today. I just open the laptop and stare at its screen as it starts up.
Then I click on the New Story button and face the blinking cursor. I sit and let the idea come to me.
I want to learn how to use the mind when I want to. NOT when IT wants to.
And I can feel the resistance it puts up when I ignore all blogging ideas. As I slowly open the laptop to write something new.
It is massive. It tries its best to stop me. It’ll pass on urges to open YouTube instead.
And it has happened to me.
I open the laptop to write or do something else, and I end up sitting in front of the YouTube homepage. Even when I don’t want to and don’t know what to watch.
Although when you get aware of such habit patterns, they seem more evident.
Many times I’ve passed away my writing time in this conflict itself. The mind keeps creating stories and fears to face the blinking cursor!
So now, I glue myself to the seat and enjoy the mind’s drama for a while. Then, I start writing. If I’m not getting any idea, I start with any word in my head.
A full-length blog post gets formed out of,
(I used that one word per line strategy to give…THAT effect…you know what I mean! 😉 😎)
Or maybe it’s just the power of spontaneity!
That is why the blinking cursor has become my best frenemy…