Whew! I got through that speech. The one I did not want to do. I know I said YES when they ask me to give the talk to eighty plus old-timers. (I can use ‘old-timers’ since I am one). The most extended hour known to man was mine when I talked about something I knew very little.
Have you ever said yes to someone to do something for them?
You regretted it, didn’t you?
- You spent a Saturday helping them move, uhuh!
- I know you said yes when your friend asks you to correct another person for them, whoa!
- We, you and me, get into spots we are not supposed to be in by saying, yes when it should have been, No.
What’s the answer? Is there help for the ‘yes always’ person?
This subject brings to mind a funny song I heard years ago.
Yes, We Have No Bananas. I dare you to click and listen to this 1923 song played on an old phonograph. Let nostalgia grip your soul.
Read the Lyrics here. You will see the ‘no’ opens the door to what the peddler does have for sale. Therefore, no can lead to a satisfying and profitable, yes.
Can I help you say no more often? I think I can.
First; NO is a complete sentence. As a complete sentence, it has a period, (.) after it. Many of us do not know what a period is since the word has many meanings to us Americans. In England, this little dot is a ‘stop,’ which makes more sense to me. So add the small dot to your no, and you are good to go.
Second, I’m not suggesting we use an abrupt no, which would be inconsiderate to the one asking you to do whatever.
A quiet three seconds provides the ‘pause that refreshes’ the memory.
Quick to respond often leads to regret.
I learn this simple method from Dr. Les Parrott, Ph.D. His book, 3 Seconds, The Power Of Thinking Twice -The importance of timing before the answer.
Take three seconds after you are quizzed to respond to think. Do I want to do this?
Third, most times when we say, yes, we add a modifier.
- “Yes, I can help you move on Saturday, but I will have to leave by four PM.”
- “Yes, I like to accept your dinner offer but can we do it next week?”
When adding a modifier to our, No, we are in deep weeds.
- “No, I can’t help this Saturday.” Okay then, how about next Saturday?”
- “No, I’m not sure what to correct Sally about?” Well, you can start with how out of line she was with her remark.”
Remember the word ‘no’ works just fine as a complete sentence. Especially with that little dot after it. You know, the ‘stop.’
Fourth, Jesus tells the story of two brothers. Read it in Matthew 21:28–30.
The father in His story asks the first son to work in the fields. The son said, no. Later he regretted saying no and went and worked in his father’s field. The second son said, yes but did not work as his father had asked him. By the first son, saying no and later changing his mind, he could do what he should be doing.
It is easier to change a no into a yes then it is a yes into a no.
- No is a complete sentence.
- Think three seconds before you answer.
- Do not add modifiers after saying no.
- Jesus explains a no can lead to acceptance.
Remember, Yes we have no bananas, but we do have lots of the stuff you need.
“Are you going to write more on this subject, Richard?” “NO.”
Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment. Let me know your thoughts on saying NO.