I used to think that I would lose my creativity in Faith.

The more content I created, the more my faith was more pronounced in my Faith. It has been the most conflicting part of this journey, trying to figure out where the two are intertwined, and why my Faith finds expression in my art.

Another source of conflict was that I have not always been a faithful Christian and thus felt like a phony and hypocrite and unqualified to talk about it.

I am still a hypocrite. I am human.

As writers, we at times write about what we are going through and advice we would give ourselves or would like to be given. I did too. I did not follow my advice=more phony.

A Continuous Cycle of Self-Judgment

We can be very harsh at ourselves especially when we feel we don’t measure up; to God’s standards or people standards. And when I consistently preached water and drank wine, I became harsher to myself.

Issues like God loves me less today because I did not go to Church. I might have to make up for it.

Clearly, I had not understood the capacity of God’s love and how immense and deep it is. I still haven’t understood the full measure of it, but at least am wise to know that He loves me regardless and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less or more.

I can only reach out to Him that is greater within me by allowing Him to find expression in me, and bring into full manifestation the Sarah He created me to be, and for the purpose he created me to fulfill.

If I am willing to let myself find stability in Him, then I step into the process of creating and co-creating with Him. Whether writing, making films, data analysis, being a friend/sister/daughter; I become the full manifestation of God’s creation.

Jesus Lives in My Projects

“silver MacBook Pro on white table” by rawpixel on Unsplash

I was nicknamed Pastor at work once.

Not because I am perfect. But because I am no longer timid. Timidity wrecked my faith because what I feared to profess I did not become. Whom I feared to confess seemed far off because of timidity borders disbelief. Timidity reinforced my harsh self-judgment on myself.

So I am no longer timid. I profess my Faith and stand rooted in what my Bible tells me. I am what the Bible says I am. An heir, a Spirit Being, God’s child, and best-friend and fear has no place in my life.

I am studying faith, love, sexuality and what it means to be a Christian. Partly because I believe from Genesis that sex, creativity, and purpose are intertwined but we have separated them. Sexuality is such a huge topic right now. With Christians and cisgender people being termed as hateful and Bible thumpers and true Christians and homosexuals being bullied.

See, I might not understand other faiths or sexualities unless I have lived them. I am not able to comprehend people’s choices. However, I am able to love them. The message is not streamlining all into one category; the message is acceptance. The true mark of love is allowing others to flourish regardless of different beliefs and being accommodating of one another.

That means allowing people to fully exercise their faith, so long as it does not cause harm or infringe on other people’s rights.

It means allowing people to thrive in their sexuality; even though you don’t understand. Intolerance and hate were never tools to win people.

It means that there should be no condemnation by Christians towards Homosexuals or any other sexual orientation. If you are a Christian, you’re simply convicted that you need to be right with God. If you are not, what you don’t believe in should not condemn you; unless people use it to tear you down, or you are seeking affirmation from people; in which case; you shouldn’t.

Don’t be offended if a Christian forfeits some roles because of their faith. To each his own. Spread love.

If you want to be a Christian, the message is not condemnation. The message is: Come to Jesus. He’ll make you right with God.

The marks of a True Christian Romans 12:9–21

I have made Peace with My Faith being in My Art

I have a proverb or verse in most of my blog posts.

 Or

A song that I am listening too; gospel or not. I allow my art to find full expression.

I am no longer burdening people amid conversations with a severe expression of myself instead of documenting it. Then being surprised at their judgment.

Teaching myself and People Love

“person forming heart with their hands” by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

I have been a hateful person before.

Coming from a place of ignorance and lack of knowledge, I have retorted on Twitter to a couple of Christian bashing tweets.

That is the problem. Correcting people should be with love. We are not trying to prove them right. 

Bashing people has never solved anything

Teach people. Educate people. About racism, your faith or any topic you feel is being depicted badly.

Please don’t speak for Christians or give your two cents on the Bible if you haven’t read it or are not a Christian. Don’t if you have read two verses. Scripture doesn’t work like that. Scripture builds upon scripture. (This applies to other faiths). Social Media has made everyone a professor in everything and very hateful.

(I have no intention of coming off as hateful so kindly educate me with love in case you feel I have overstepped. I promise to respect your beliefs and so should you mine 🙂

This post is part of the Series: Understanding Love through Corinthians.

Sarah Nderi is a 22 year old Data Analyst and Digital Content Creator. She resides in Nairobi and can be found reading, dancing and writing when not analysing data. Visit Sarah at NderiSarahWordpresscom.Wordpress.com.
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Sarah Nderi is a 22 year old Data Analyst and Digital Content Creator. She resides in Nairobi and can be found reading, dancing and writing when not analysing data. Visit Sarah at NderiSarahWordpresscom.Wordpress.com.

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