I always had a weird feeling when I went to school.
I could never understand what it was. At first, assumed it might be the fact that I didn’t integrate with the other peers.
The more time passed, the more intense that feeling got.
It took me 2 years to discover that what I felt was craving for human interaction, that is, true human interaction.
Before I had started to build awareness of my surroundings and be more observant of how people interact with each other, I believed that my efforts of making true friends would be futile in the face of such adversity.
In this article, we’ll take a look at what went wrong with our human interactions and how we can actually make true friends with whom you’ll have the most memorable moments.
Above and beyond
Today, you can be friends with anyone on this planet who has an Internet connection.
You can be friends with anyone but not with everyone.
We as humans have a limit regarding our social circle, with a maximum of approximately 150 people in it.
The inner-most part of our social circle is represented by the best friends, people whom we went through thick and thin since we’ve known them.
They are followed by close friends and as you adventure outwards, the less you truly know these “friends”.
And so, this is a reminder that you should be more sparing when it comes to giving your friendship to a person.
You are giving a part of yourself when building a friendship with someone else. It is a commitment you have towards another human.
But like any other relationship, it can only work when both parts are involved.
Cut it loose
Friendship is sometimes such a vague word.
People treat it like it’s something you can give and take as you please.
As soon as that person makes a good impression, we are quick to give our friendship, and along with that, our trust.
We humans, by nature, tend to put a mask which hides the part of ourselves that we don’t want to be known by others.
Taking this fact into account means we should be more hesitant at giving our trust without knowing more the person.
You might be someone who invests wholeheartedly in the friendship. You are there for them even in the hardest times, to listen to their needs and worries, to bring comfort and happiness to them.
But what if they aren’t so quick to jump in to help you?
What if they aren’t committed even 10% to this friendship?
Yet, you might fool yourself into thinking they are still down-to-earth people because of the good first impression they made.
People that don’t see friendship as something valuable will never be worth spending time with.
You must cut them loose.
Swimmin’ in shallow waters
The more I observed people, the more I realized how fickle their relationships are.
Part of the problem is social media but that’s for another story.
They laugh, they are having a great time and yet it feels off.
How much deeper they see in that person’s character? How close are they to understanding them at their core as who they are and how they feel?
Superficiality has deep roots in today’s society.
They hear you but they don’t see past those words. And while you might say that no one is forced to try to understand everyone they meet with, the undeniable fact is that how you do anything is how you do everything.
Treating even a conversation as something superficial, without trying even to build up a solid base from there is reflecting your true nature.
I’ve been there and I’ve done that.
Thing is, people would more likely talk about what they are interested in then to listen to others interests, yet they ask to be understood without seeking to understand others.
We have to somehow make ourselves feel important even though we are not. It’s just the way we are wired, to think about ourselves at first.
There is nothing wrong about that as long as you don’t get stuck thinking you’re at the center of the universe because,
Nonetheless, treating a conversation superficially will inevitably bring you no true bonding.
Thin bonds are easily broken
Making a true friend requires a strong bond.
But that bond has to be built out of something, it can’t simply appear out of thin air.
The strong bond is what holds your relationship with others.
That only happens if you can connect with that person which requires you to understand where they are coming from and to analyze their feelings.
The most powerful connections will always happen with like-minded people.
They are the people with whom you had the most satisfying conversation, which left you with a sense of enjoyment and fulfillment.
The dopamine is rushing inside of you, which makes you crave these meaningful and deep conversations.
This is what I have been craving for so long without even knowing it.
Conversation and human interaction as a whole have started to lose their importance.
We crave the feeling of being understood but we as well must be open to understanding others.
Treating human interaction superficially will only bring despair to you as an individual in this ever-evolving society because we are by nature built to socialize.
Always seek like-minded people with whom you can build a strong, long-lasting relationship in which both of you can help one another to grow and prosper as individuals.
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