The kind of
loving we should gravitate towards.
I tried to conjure up her image in my head. Her shoulder-length deep brown hair. Her beautiful twinkling pair of eyes. Her rather plump cheeks. Her pink lips, in the shape of a heart. Her smile, the kind that lighted up my world.
I get scared sometimes.
Scared that one day, I would wake up and forget how she looked like, how she felt like. I know, I have pictures. But it’s… different.
I want to remember her exactly the way I experienced her.
So I figured out a way to do exactly that.
I was making breakfast this morning when suddenly, thoughts and memories flooded my head.
Memories of my mother. The way she smiled, the jokes she made, the wisdom she imparted and most of all, the love she had so freely given.
I could have disappointed her in more than one way. Broke her heart with my words. Bailed on her in many occasions. And she would still…
How she could still find love and forgiveness in her heart for so many of my failings simply escaped me. I never really understood.
But now here I was, standing in front of the stove, boiling some water to make a poached egg and all that I could think of is:
Why can’t everyone love like a mother?
Granted not all mothers are good mothers but I haven’t (so far) met any mother who doesn’t love their children like crazy. Like literally, sometimes the way they love their children is just so… crazy. But it’s love, nevertheless.
You can let them down, break them, drive them crazy repeatedly and they. would. still. love. you.
Why can’t we love everyone like that?
Okay, some people don’t deserve our love but sometimes, we don’t even give it another go. At the first sign of distress, we just bail.
Having said this, if the other person is abusive — mentally or verbally — this is definitely not the kind of love you want to bestow upon he/she (especially if he/she is a bad opportunist who knows he/she will get away with his/her crap). But even then, you can love that person by seeking help for them.
Even when you finally kiss them goodbye, you’re still loving someone the way a mother loves her child and that someone is you.
I am still trying to figure out life and love myself. I think that might be the whole point of living. To find out what it means to live and to love.
I still have a long way to go but wouldn’t it be lovely if we can see more unconditional love around? A mother kind of love?
Thank you for reading! This is a special note to all of the mothers out there who have been broken repeatedly and came out stronger every time. Thank you for being such an amazing, strong, wonderful creature. You are the light of the world.
In memory of my late mother, the most amazing, kind-hearted lady I know. You shall always be loved and remembered, Mom. I miss you.
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