I’ve been busy recently. A friend of mine died last month. I guess this is what life is; we never know the surprises, and some surprises just slap us on the face and stabs through our heart. Death is inevitable and nothing out of the ordinary happened to my friend. But sometimes, some goodbyes hurt us real bad. The worst is when people leave without even a goodbye. Some things happen a little sooner. And some things leave us behind, wounded.
I was resting in a hotel room at Delhi, India. I got a call from a friend but I was too tired to pick it up. He called again, but I didn’t answer. A minute or two went by and he called the third time. I knew something was up so I answered the call.
“He got into an accident. It’s serious!”
I asked him to text me the address, and I checked out from the hotel and rushed to the railway station. Hopefully, a train was leaving to the place in 10 minutes so I got in.
An ambulance hit his bike on the highway. It threw him off the bike and rammed his head right on the road. A tough lad, he was fueled by dreams strong as steel. He was a passionate MTB stunt rider. He had dreams and was busy getting his Visa to Poland where he was invited for a show. It was an opportunity he earned. A result of his hard work. An opportunity that would’ve changed his life! If only he was alive…
I was at the hospital, staring into his room. I saw a helpless body fighting hard. I saw a soul dying to wander off. He breathed as if he’ll die any second.
Hours went by and the doctor came. Fingers crossed, we all hoped and prayed for a miracle. I, being an atheist, just hoped he’ll be okay. I hoped he’ll walk and smile, just like he used to. And the doctor said there was nothing more they could do.
I kept staring at him. Everything seemed normal, except he wasn’t breathing anymore. He laid there, lips together, eyes closed, peacefully. And I knew he got into the big, long sleep. It hurts to know. It wounded me. Memories crowded inside me… it felt as if something melted right out through my heart and I was bleeding tears. It was more than what I could take and I failed to bear the pain. It left me blank, and I struggled with the memories… it kept hurting me. It wounded me harder, deeper. They carried him through the hallways and I hoped it was some dream — a dream that I’ll wake up from.
He had dreams he kept close, and down the grave he went, peacefully. You only know you miss someone when they are not with you anymore. At least now I know I’ve started to miss someone. We all witnessed something we never expected. We lost someone we talked to, walked with and loved. We lost a soul, strong and powerful. Just like us, he too had dreams and everything was over before he even knew it. He has always been a good friend. Perhaps he was more like a brother.
No one ever know what fate may hold, for we be enjoying life like never before and may collapse the next minute. One of us has wandered off and it may be you or me tomorrow. People leave us sooner than we know and it’s the worst feeling one can ever take. It kills us.
It’s been a month. I’m writing with a cup of coffee on the side. It looks like a great night, perhaps a fresh start. Life is a journey. It’s probable that none of us might make it to the other end, yet we choose to believe and move on. Staring at the stars, I wonder when my time comes. I wonder why it wasn’t me but you. I wonder why he couldn’t live a little longer. Little longer enough to say a goodbye.
We thank you for being one of us,
and you will remain in our hearts
until we are called upon.
Rest in peace, brother.