On most pairs of jeans, there are five pockets. Two located on the back, two in the front and then that little one that you usually find nestled inside the right front pocket. I never really understood what that little pocket was for but when I saw what she did, I was scarred for life.
Boys vs. Girls
Now most boys in the fourth grade think girls are gross and I’m sure the feeling is mutual. This may not be true for everyone, but when I was that age, this was a reality. When I say gross, it really means that boys don’t understand girls. They usually just dismiss them to continue doing boy stuff.
Many men never outgrow this stage of life.
There is hope though because people write books on this topic.
Two Types of People
Anyways, I always say there are two types of people; people who pick their nose and people who lie about picking their nose. However, people who do it in public area mystery to me. It’s impossible to miss when someone is fully engaged in the act. It’s not a graceful task.
In my class there was a girl, let’s call her Grace…
Every day, she rooted up in her nose hardcore. She must not have been able to breathe with the ferocity that she engaged her nostrils. Her face contorted into what looked like excruciating pain. One eye always slammed shut and the other, so wide open, I’m sure she hit her brain with every twist, turn, and jab of her finger.
After the extraction, she viewed her treasure for a few moments and then nonchalantly slid the nasal nugget into that tiny, fifth pocket on her jeans. You could tell she was putting it there because she dug her heels into the ground, jerked her head in reverse and lifted her hind end off the seat in sort of an instantaneous rigor mortis. I’m sure it was to release the tension that it took to get that pocket open.
This went on for what seemed like an eternity. She kept going into her nasal cavities for further excavations like a miner looking for diamonds. For some reason, her actions kept my attention. I just kept watching, wondering if it would ever end.
Eventually, the class broke for lunch with recess to follow. The usual, “boys rule, girls drool” type activity ensued and I was able to forget the distracting display that I witnessed in the classroom.
Upon returning to class, we had some sort of lesson that I don’t remember.
I probably don’t remember because as my eyes scanned the classroom, there was Grace…
She was trying to get two fingers at a time into the little pocket. This took some force and it was hard to miss with all the wiggling in her chair. She seemed to be paying attention to the teacher which meant, whatever she was doing was on auto-pilot. Once she got her fingertips in there, she removed them and instantly placed them in her mouth.
Once I realized what happened, my stomach turned, churned, twisted and I became several shades of green with nausea.
She was consuming her morning’s work, that she had stored in the fifth pocket.
What was happening?
Why would she do that?
Did she not get enough food for lunch?
Concentrating on what the teacher was saying became impossible because I couldn’t look away from Grace’s after lunch snack session. I don’t remember what my grades were like in this class but they couldn’t have been good.
To this day, I still have vivid flashbacks of this moment.
Come to find out, there is scientific evidence that what Grace did is beneficial to your health. I guess the bacteria found in your nose candy can boost your immune system. Read this article to find out > Booger Eating Study
How did they discover this?
Who are they doing this research on?
How in God’s green Earth do you get someone to apply for this?
Maybe Grace’s habit put her ahead of her time?
But no. Just, no.
I don’t know what you think, but I am convinced, this was not the intended use for that little pocket.
Don't miss a single word. Get Publishous Magazine delivered directly to your inbox each week for FREE!
Please complete the form below and you will receive the next episode directly to the email address you provide.