Here comes another Mom rant…

Today, I told my husband over the phone that I wished I could curl up in a hole and die.

I am on day 4 of this sucker. It might be the flu. I’m sure as hell not wasting a doctor’s trip, dragging 4 kids and myself out of our quarantine. Why waste all the effort and misery, for a doctor to tell us that it’s a virus and we must wait it out anyway? There is no magical cure, sadly.

When you are a mom of 4, being sick is more than just curling up on the couch and waiting for redemption to come. It’s throwing snot-laden tissues as close to the trash as possible while nursing a sniffly baby. It’s binge-watching Supernatural and letting the kids play on tablets all day because at least they are out of my hair! It’s scrounging around the fridge, barely standing on jelly-legs, finding the easiest and quickest meals to settle everyone’s tummies. Sure, I’ll share my cup of chicken noodle soup that you want to try — there is no escaping the germs for you, little snot-nose. Otherwise, help yourself to the frozen french fries that I poured on a pan and conveniently popped in the oven for 20 minutes. At least there is something in their bellies.

Yesterday, I slept a majority of the day. The baby and toddler joined me most of the time, as they needed to sleep off their parasitic viruses too. When I climbed out of the all-too-comfortable bed at 8pm, head feeling in the clouds, I burst into tears at the mess surrounding me. Dishes piled up for days, dog accidents because I didn’t make it outside with them, clutter and chaos everywhere. And I had just gotten the ball rolling in decluttering the house! It was all for naught. Once we kick this thing’s butt, we have to start all over from square one. Waaaaah!

Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? I am a freaking zombie.

I know, I know. This, too shall pass. In a fleeting moment, I realize how lucky we are in this day and age, that these are the extent of our struggles. How lucky that waking up one day with sickness doesn’t mean we have to fear for the lives of one of our children (as was the case in the not-too-distant past for countless families). I’m also lucky that I get to stay home with my kids without having to worry about missing days of work, watching the bank account dip into negatives, as I have had to do in the past.

Remember that someone somewhere has it worse right now, watching their 6-weeksick old baby connected to IV’s, fighting off the flu (we fought through this situation a couple years ago).

Today, on the 4th day of sickness (hopefully the last awful day for me), I’m snuggling my babies close, enjoying our cuddles and choosing to let go of the guilt. It could be worse. We will get through this, as we have many times before.

But it doesn’t make it suck any less.

Fellow moms, I bet you can relate.

Valerie Sizelove is a busy mom of 4, navigating life and trying to create something worthwhile. Visit Valerie on Medium.
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Valerie Sizelove is a busy mom of 4, navigating life and trying to create something worthwhile. Visit Valerie on Medium.
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