Heads up!! This post references Tom Waits & Bette Midler!

In my efforts to encourage my kindness students to do something kind for someone they don’t know, I often reference a song by Tom Waits, what Waits recorded as a duet with Bette Midler.

It’s called “I Never Talk to Strangers.”

“I never talk to strangers anyway.”

The song is the story of a man and a woman at a bar.

In the first verse, the man tries a series of pick-up lines and the woman, savvy from this kind of experience, starts finishing them for him.

In the second verse, he’s been kind of defeated and tries to defend himself, while she goes on the attack. Each verse ends with her telling him, “I never talk to strangers anyway,” a bit ironic since she is talking to him, a stranger, to tell him she never talks to strangers, part of what makes the song lyric so strong.

The third verse is where she really goes on the attack, telling him that his “life is like a dime store novel” and that the “town is full of guys like you.”

“Only suckers fall in love with perfect strangers.”

Wounded, he stabs back, “You’re bitter ’cause he left you,” assuming she’s alone in the world and, “That’s why you’re drinking in this bar.”

Both wounded, more by life than by the other, the third verse is capped by them heartbreakingly singing together, “Only suckers fall in love with perfect strangers.”

Are they suckers?

The fourth verse cinches it as a brilliant statement on loneliness and even the human condition, that if we are never willing to talk to strangers we’ll never meet anyone.

After all, we all begin as strangers, right?

“We really aren’t strangers anymore.”

The man and woman in the song alternate lines before symbolically singing the last few together. And unlike the third verse, where they are singing together but separately, this time they are singing together with each other.

After all, if you take the time to get to know someone, poof, like magic, you are no longer strangers.

(I work to promote ordinary acts of kindness. Learn more at kindliving.net. The illustrations were drawn by artist Fish Astronaut.)

Andy Smallman works to promote ordinary activities that awaken kindness, helping people connect to their true nature and increase peace in the world. Visit Andy at AndySmallman.com.
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Andy Smallman works to promote ordinary activities that awaken kindness, helping people connect to their true nature and increase peace in the world. Visit Andy at AndySmallman.com.

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