Some were pretty shitty. Some were pretty good.
I happened to notice today that …DAMN… I’ve written over 900 posts on medium!
WOOHOO. It feels like 100 though.
I started writing here in 2017 honestly just to practice.
I wanted to sharpen my writing skills. I hadn’t written many full stories or essays and I wanted to experience doing that.
I had written steadily in a journal since age 8 and published 4 poetry books, (poetic memoirs) and one other non-fiction compilation book.
I just wanted to learn!
Learn to write stories with beginning, middle and end.
I knew I would need that skill in order to finish my memoir, which I started 3 years ago and put on hold.
I might’ve even paid money to go to a ‘writing school’ so that I could learn to write stories!
But, then I saw medium as a way to teach myself and get experience.
Honestly, I didn’t have the budget for any writing classes, seminars, workshops or writing coaches yadda yadda… so.. I stole the time!
I wrote and wrote and wrote as often as I humanly could.
I knew it was the only way to get better.
Tiger Woods got up every day at 4 am to practice his putting. I felt that I was doing the same by dragging my ass to my chair daily.
I HAD to put in the time.
I also read over 120 books in a year. Many were about the craft of writing and memoir since that was my main focus.
When I first began writing here some of my posts were pretty damn awful, sometimes shitty stuff. I look back at some of my early posts and cringe and cringe! HaHa. I’m sure most of us do that when we look at some of our older work.
But, it’s OK.
Now that I look back on those early days I was sooo damn green, but hey, a person has to learn somehow!
I was also very very eager.
I look at all of it as good. It all got me here.
I don’t mind that I posted some shitty stuff, and that I still do.
Many stories will totally flop, and they still do.
Some will miss the mark, as they say in archery, but some hit.
Some do OK. Some do better than OK. That’s not the point.
The point is that I am progressing.
Every single post I publish teaches me something.
Every time I publish I LEARN. THAT is what excites me most.
Plus, I know I’ve improved a lot since beginning here on medium.
Honestly, I still feel like a virgin writer. I’m a baby. I’m a beginner every damn time I write something.
I keep open and curious and wide-eyed with wonder like any beginner of any skill.
I’m not in any hurry. I’m not in any competition with anyone other than me. I’ve said this many times.
Ok yeah, I’m being redundant! I say I love learning a lot because I do.
I love being curious. Curious about what I will write next. Where the muse will take me.
That is the beauty of creativity. The unknown.
The walking into the unknown and seeing where the fingers land.
I love that part.
For instance, right now it is 2 a.m. I jumped up out of bed because my boyfriend was snoring SO DAMN loud and a cat needed to eat, so I went to feed him.
Now I’m up typing this.
I don’t judge anymore. I don’t judge where my fingers choose to go on the keyboard. I curiously watch them slide.
To be honest I am just proud of the fact that I show up every day. Even if a few of my stories flop or I forget to edit them ‘perfectly’, or if no one reads them or …or…whatever…I’m fine. I’m still a success, for showing up here, even in the midst of all of life’s shit.
THIS to me is what matters most.
I also know without ANY doubt that I am on a path of discovery. The writing path is glorious and magical.
So, after 900 medium posts I feel I am JUST GETTING STARTED!
For all who read and support my work here THANK YOU. This year I will keep flinging more stories out there daily. I appreciate all of you in medium land for being such a supportive community too.
Woohooo. Bring on the coffee and 2019 — Here we cooooome!