No one believes in you
We all have a path to take, be it good or bad.
On this path, we will experience new things that will continuously shape us. Some paths are walked by us willingly and others are influenced by family or friends.
Take college for example. Your heart might tell you to start a business yet you don’t because you find yourself in an internal conflict.
Your parents helped you pay the college bills and you feel obligated to finish college even if it’s something you don’t truly want to pursue.
At times, it feels like all hope it’s lost.
Because you decide to walk a path that is not according to society’s standards, people will disregard you.
You realize how much-unused potential you have and how many times you underestimated yourself.
You look around for someone to acknowledge your potential, to be there to support you.
But the more you look around, you realize that the path you’ve set out to walk on will require sacrifice, and you’re the only one who truly will have to bear the pain.
In this article, I’ll share with you what I discovered about people’s belief and our journey in life after having a nervous breakdown.
Pain is fuel
One week ago, on a freezing night, I was having a chat with my best buddy.
We started casually, and as one thing led to another, we found ourselves having a deep conversation.
In that day, I was obsessed with making money to buy a program and I shared with him my desire to do everything in my power to build our lives in the best way possible.
I put my heart when writing those words and my emotions were already assaulting my thoughts. I was expecting a similar response.
But what I got was a casual: “Okay, do what you want”.
Once again, one thing leads to another, and I started arguing with him.
More and more emotions started flowing, my thoughts turned negative and I was on the edge of the breakdown.
I wanted him to understand that I would do anything and everything for my sake and his. I wanted him to believe in me. But even more than that, it was a deep pain that I hadn’t yet achieved these goals.
And then… I snapped.
How hard did I snap? So hard that I started punching in the wall until my knuckles were bleeding. It didn’t hurt as much as it hurt inside.
Even if I realized I was under the total control of emotions, I didn’t want to stop. I felt that no matter how hard I tried to do anything, it wasn’t enough.
I had spent around 30 minutes outside in the cold, angry at everyone that didn’t understand my pain.
Yet the irony is I didn’t understand it either.
I felt anger, desperation, torment and I wasn’t able to sleep all night. It was one of the most painful nights I had in a long time.
Looking back at that night, I had realized that I was a fool.
Yes, I was a fool for asking anybody to understand me and what I was going through.
No matter how much empathetic we think we are, we will never be able to understand someone without going through the same situation.
We only have the illusion of understanding.
That’s the reason why neither my friends nor family can truly comprehend my situation because, in the end, the only one who should understand me is me.
You might also make the assumption that I overreacted by having that nervous breakdown.
I’ll give you the benefit of doubt on this one because you would need a detailed context to better comprehend why I reacted that way.
Nonetheless, the events throughout that week added up and on that night, it was the climax of all the feelings and thoughts I had accumulated.
Sacrifice is inevitable
No matter how much I tried to avoid it, I had to feel pain.
And I’m grateful for that.
It helped me understand my thoughts and my emotions better.
I realized that by choosing this path, I would have to sacrifice something. It wasn’t because I wanted it, but because I had to, it was a must.
It was the fact that no one believes in me and no one has to believe in me. I only need myself to believe in me.
It is not our successes, but our struggles that give us meaning.
Deep down, we all want some form of acknowledgment from others. But we never must rely on that acknowledgment to keep moving forward.
You must walk your path knowing that no matter how much blood, sweat, and tears you will put, no matter how much you will bend over backward, your efforts might be utterly futile and not be recognized by anyone.
It is a sad realization, but at the same time, it’s a freeing one.
You’re giving yourself the freedom to live the life you want, bearing the pain along the way, both physically and mentally, because this is the path you ultimately believe in.
By nature, we want to avoid pain as much as we can. The state of discomfort is what our brain fights against so tirelessly, yet you must embrace it.
When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.
Your journey will be a long road.
As your path becomes more against the norm, you will separate from the rest.
People won’t see your path because they don’t believe it.
You are the only one who must believe it because you cannot even have the arrogance to expect someone else to believe in you when you yourself don’t believe in you.
Don’t run from pain.
Pain will strengthen your character and even in the face of the greatest adversities, you will stand your ground, firmly believing in yourself.